Monday, December 18, 2006

A New Beginning

I took delivery of my new car today... It was almost perfect! :P

The ride's superb. It takes corners like as if the tyres stick to the tarmac!

They kept the car in the showroom for so long, I was beginning to feel restless and annoyed. In fact, I was annoyed. Really annoyed. Annoyed annoyed annoyed!

To make it perfect, I need to retro-fit Xenon headlights (RMXX,000) and the Bluetooth handsfree kit (RMX,000k). They're so pricey!!! But I'm still determined (maybe not anytime soon) to get them.

By the way, I got to know this site from a friend: www.realoem.com. It's like a candy store for BMW enthusiasts.

Anyway, looks like i'm gonna be very busy this weekend. I figured that it needed to get an insight to what kind of life its owner lives. So, I'll be taking it for a spin, visiting places - for a quick introduction.

Mission Impossible 1: Getting pass them door bitches!

Insane.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Secret Santa

I was so anxious to go to the office today. I wanted to know if my secret Santa has bought my Xmas present or not. I've been so worried for the past week as the presents were building up day-by-day and none had my name on it. Today was the day we'll open our presents.

When I got in, there was a crowd around the tree. Looks like everyone's anxious. I wiggled through and... there it was! A BIG shoebox size present with my name boldly pre-printed on the white address label. WHOAH! I almost let out a scream! heheh

I had to buy someone a gift too. I had trouble buying it as the person I got when we drew the lots was someone who I still haven't had the chance to get to know better, yet. I didn't even know his sense of humour, so, needless to say, anything from the sex shop was out of the question. :P

In the end, I bought something neutral, but nevertheless appropriate for the occasion. Anyway, hope the receipient likes it.

And to my secret Santa, thank you very much for the lounging flip-flops! I really like it!

Merry Christmas everyone.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

A Revelation

L and I decided to go out for lunch today in Bangsar. As we were driving towards Rebung Restaurant, I noticed a prominent landmark and thought of another friend C, who happens to be an ex-colleague. I immediately took the phone and dialed her. She agreed to join us. It was nice to see her. This was the first time we met up since she left.

Turns out Rebung didn't have à la carte menu for lunch so we had to go for the buffet... great! This means I could have my favourite Gulai Perut Pucuk Rebung, and Paru Goreng Berempah! - Yummey!!!

By this time, our conversations grew hotter with juicier gossips pouring in (a phenomenon which usually occurs when I have meals with more than one female companion). :P

This excitement was shortlived however, when the tables were turned towards me...

I just discovered a very disturbing fact about a certain individual;

A fact which totally messed up my mood for the rest of the day, and probably the rest of the year;

A fact that could totally change my perception towards other people... forever.

Fuck.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Life Support

As I was settling in after being admitted to the hospital for Acute Tonsilitis, I looked around the room for the nearest power point to the bed so that I could plug-in my phone charger.

My eyes finally locked on to the panel above my bed where a series of switches, panic button, vacuum & oxygen valves, a wired remote control for the tv, reading lights and a call button linked to the nurse station, another lightswitch and a couple of power outlets; 1 occupied by a plug presumably for the bed and the other, vacant, but clearly marked by a red switch button. Great!

Before I could slam my charger in the socket, R interrupted and said, "Hey! That's for emergencies only!"

"Like Life Support Machines and what not!", he continued.

I looked at him in disgust, wiggled my phone and charger and said, "This iiiisssss a life support machine, idiot!"

We laughed. T'was insane.

He agreed, "Oh yea, aar?!"

It's been plugged in ever since, and it's probably what's kept me alive! ;p

Sent via BlackBerry

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

A cute tonsilitis..

Acute, rather!

It's been 4 days since my throat began to hurt. You know, one of those 'pain-per-talk', 'tears-per-swallow', 'pay-per-view' moments... Even my left ear hurt. It felt like it's being shoved too deep with a q-tip!

On day 1, I went to the ER at SJMC to get it checked. Turned out, other than a sore throat I had coughs too, and was wheezing pathetically. They put me on Neb treatment for awhile, and sent me home with a lab of drugs and a hefty bill. I popped 'em as soon as I got in the car and off I went. I almost forgot I had a throat! Anyway..

Day 2, I woke up with a sharp pain in my ear and throat. I popped more Cattaflam to rid the pain. After awhile it worked albeit slower, and was running out of it. I decided to go back to ER for stronger ones so I didn't have to pop more often. A different doctor checked me out, prescribed supposedly stronger painkillers and anti-inflams and a sick cert. I thought, great.. Just when I needed to score more brownie points from my manager during the appraisal period, doctors are throwing MC-planes at me! Argh!

Day 3, I woke up from a bad dream which related to my tonsilitis. It could've won the Oscar's, I tell ya! It's 3.45am, and the pain was excrutiating! I popped some Ponstan and shot to the ER again. Given the pain, and the time, I could only comprehend the MO as saying, "You've got a cute tonsils and I want to get you admitted so they could start you on anti-bio IV immediately."

Cute?! Acute Tonsilitis actually ;p

For some reason, all the rooms were booked. Even the suites. Even the Super-Suites! I almost wanted to pull rank, coz it's me they're talking about! In fact, I don't think anyone staying in the wards at that time had MRNs lower than 773. I believe the MRN has reached at least 2 million over the years since SJMC opened its doors.

Sunway Hospital offered me a room but I decided to go for Selangor Medical Centre as it was nearer to home and was recently taken over by KPJ (No particular reason why - Perhaps it's the convenience+non-govt).

After paying for the 3rd day in a row, I rushed home, took some change of clothes, and off I went. No one was at ER, and I could tell the doc was sleeping. I handed the doctor's report from SJMC to one of the nurses at the station. She took me to one of the examination beds. A groggy doctor stumbled from one of the dark rooms in the back and was debriefed by the nurses, but still asked me what was the problem. I gestured to the report, she began reading. She understood, signed off - went off (to bed again, I presume).

First day in hospital. They started me on a drip coz I haven't been eating. I asked for somemore painkillers, but they injected me with something else - pain! They heard me wrong! The anti-bio IV came after but I was already asleep. The specialist came around 10am and threatened to remove my tonsils. He said the reason for my frequent infections over the last year was because of this. I refused to comprehend - I made sure he understood the meaning of 'no'. He obliged but not before giving me the "You've Been Warned" grin, and left.

My cuz R came at 11pm and brought me MacD's Apple Pie & Vanilla Milkshake! Having prepped up for this, I attacked the pie, milkshake and some smokes - fully anaesthetised by the Voltaren I had taken earlier.

Day 2, I woke up very early today. The pain has subsided but I still couldn't eat. I changed clothes and replied to the building E-mails and SMS of well wishes (and, not so well wishes). Dr. Sony came at 10am, confirmed my getting better and promised to discharge me by noon tomorrow. He ordered to stop the Glucose IV drip and I was told to eat solids. I really wished I'd go home today...

My parents showed up again today as expected. My mom brought me books I had asked for yesterday, but she switched 7/8 of them with other lame self-help books that she thought would make me grow up. I told her to take them home and give to dad. He's downstairs, getting himself checked. I'm pretty sure the doctor will find him healthy, other than a big malignent lump of 'ego' in his head.

Hmm, what's for lunch?!

Sent via BlackBerry

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

On test: BMW 335d Coupé

By Kyle Fortune

October 25 2006
  • Model driven: BMW 335d Coupé
  • Bodystyle: Coupé
  • Engine: 3.0 twin-turbo straight-six
  • Fuel: diesel
  • Transmission: 6-speed automatic
  • Date of test: Oct 2006

What is it?
The best model in the expanding 3-Series Coupé range. You can forget the 335i Coupé with its petrol engine, as this 3.0-litre straight-diesel with its twin turbochargers is the model in the range to go for. It’s the same unit that’s impressed us in the X3 and 5-Series and it does more of the same under the bonnet of the Coupé. Don’t think either that it’s just the diesel’s greater economy that’s won us over, even if 37.7mpg on the official combined cycle is very good, but it’s the engine’s incredible performance. With 282bhp and 428lb ft of torque driving through a vastly improved six-speed automatic transmission, the 335d Coupé delivers the sort of performance that makes even BMW’s mighty M6 feel slow off the line.

Where does it fit?
It and its petrol 335i relative currently sit at the top of the BMW 3-Series range. Both engines are available in the saloon and estate 3-Series models, but the two-door coupé is more expensive and more exclusive than its four-door brethren. The 335i petrol will eventually be knocked off the 3-Series top spot by the M3 with its V8 engine, and the cabriolet versions with their folding hardtop roofs will also cost more, but the 335d Coupé will remain the range-topping diesel model. Rivals in this class are few in the coupé sector, the Peugeot V6 HDI 407 Coupé and Mercedes CLK 320 CDI being possible alternatives. But neither can match the 335d Coupé’s performance or poise.

Compare the BMW 335d Coupé, Mercedes CLK 320 CDI and Peugeot 406 HDI

Is it for you?
The BMW 3-Series Coupé takes a huge proportion of the four-seat coupé market. With its wide range of engines and prices the coupé covers a broad spectrum of rivals and customers. Therefore, unlike many competitors it’s not particularly focussed on a certain demographic, BMW 3-Series Coupé buyers ranging right across the age spectrum. Although if you’re female and you buy one you’re bucking the trend, as BMW claims some 82% of 3-Series Coupés are male. Specifically this 335d model is likely to appeal to those buyers wanting the best performance possible, while keeping an eye on fuel consumption.

What does it do well?
Decent consumption is a given, and 37.7mpg on the official combined cycle doesn’t disappoint. It’s made even more remarkable when you consider the performance on offer – 62mph arrives in just 6.1 seconds. But it’s the way the 335d performs that’s so remarkable, the engine’s vast 428lb ft of torque felt from just 1,750rpm. You experience it as a forceful surge that doesn’t seem to let up further up the rev range. Its effect is enhanced by the swift shifting six-speed automatic transmission. It’s been speeded up by around 40 per cent and is so smooth you barely feel it swapping ratios, even when you take control via the steering wheel mounted paddles. Weighty, accurate steering fine body control and excellent handling add up to a hugely capable all-rounder - the rear seats can actually be used by passengers and there’s a useful boot, too.

What doesn’t it do well?
Despite BMW’s constant reminders that the Coupé shares no common sheet metal with its lesser, four-door relatives it still looks very similar. The rear lights are the biggest differentiators visually, but it’s not the head-turner it could have been. That’s particularly true inside, the Coupé sharing its dashboard, instrumentation and trim materials with its saloon alternatives. For a car that’s aimed to appeal to more style conscious buyers it lacks flair inside and doesn’t feel special enough. BMW persists in charging a hefty premium for options, too. Bluetooth preparation costs £535, while BMW charges a fairly scandalous £1,970 for its ‘Professional’ navigation system.

First Drive: BMW 3-Series Coupé

What’s it like to live with?
With its easy performance, excellent handling, fine refinement and decent consumption the 335d Coupé is a very impressive day-to-day proposition. What you lose in emotive high-rev appeal from the 335i petrol engine you more than gain in scarcely believable low rev urgency. Unlike many coupés it’s a genuinely usable proposition, too. The rear seats are suitable for adults at a push, and the boot is huge and can even be increased in usefulness by dropping the rear seat backs. The proliferation of electronic safety and driving aids – which includes DSC+, brake drying, Hill Start Assistant, Soft Stop, Fade Compensation and Brake Pre-tensioning – keep you safe, and are unnoticeable in everyday driving.

Get an insurance quote on a 335d Coupé

How green is it?
37.7mpg on the combined cycle and 200g/km of CO2 emissions are both good enough to keep the environmentalists happy. Well, as happy as today’s car hating environmentalists can be. BMW takes recycling very seriously, so a good proportion of the materials in the Coupé will be from recycled sources, while the majority of the entire car will be recyclable when it eventually buys the farm.

Used 3-Series Coupés from £1,300

Would we buy it?
Certainly. It’s got much of the space and practicality of its saloon relative, lessening the usual coupé compromises. Its six-cylinder diesel engine is also arguably one of the best diesel engines in existence. In the 335i Coupé it offers fantastic performance and refinement with the bonus of decent economy and low emissions. That makes it an able long distance proposition, yet it’s got the ability to thrill when you’re driving for the sake of it. The interior could do with being a bit more interesting, but otherwise the 335d Coupé is a very desirable car indeed.


Saturday, October 14, 2006

Saved by the 'bang'...

In case you're wondering why bang is in inverted commas, I meant the Azhan...

I had a DVD marathon today, in the hopes of catching up with new movies I've been missing lately. It started with a Thai movie, Dorm (as in dormitory), about a young boy who was being transferred to a boarding school in the middle of the semester feeling lonely and abandoned. He learns of a story about a closed pool and the child that drowned in it a few years back - I won't go through the whole plot 'coz I don't wanna ruin anything. Besides, I'm not very good at film critics anyway...

More than half-way through You, Me & Dupree, R called to say that he's finished with classes and suggested to buka outside. I was kinda glad that he called, 'coz it gave me a solid excuse for not having to finish watching the whole movie as it was already 6pm and I had to get out of my stinkin' peejays - The worst movie I've seen (not like I've been watching much) this year!

Disappointing.

So, R came along, I was ready, and we turbo-ed up to Fatty Crab, scored a parking space first time around, and was greeted by Aunty Red (hair) who prompted us to a table right at the entrance next to a Malay couple, which was good, 'coz those who know me should already know that I hate doing the meandering-around a crowd of strangers who would size others up as if they have the right to do so. Nevermind the buzzcocks, we decided not to order the crab this time, but make do with the usual spread of chicken wings, garlic prawns and fried rice, and more wings!

Now this is the part where this entry's title come to play...

Since I haven't really introduced R before this, I might as well do before you let your imaginations do the tango!

R: a/s/l - 20's/M/Uranus (SS19, Subang Jaya)

Can say that we're quite close, given the fact that we both studied in the UK, grew up together, and one of the only few relatives on my dad' side, other than his bro and sis, who is around my age. They say, if the same blood runs through your veins, you could even think alike. I say, we're the living proof!

Anyway, the sugar cane juices came, and despite several solid reminders about us fasting, his ignorance was so overwhelming that he slurped 'em clean. But guess what? The Azhan only started when he was already halfway through! Pretending that nothing happened, I proceeded to sip my drink politely (while giving R the "doh!" look) as the other Malays did. What was R's reaction?

He cheekily said with a grin, "Saved by the bang?"

We laughed hysterically.

Typical.

Grin.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

8 common dating lines—decoded

By Laura Gilbert

It’s no secret that the language of love isn’t always the most, well, direct. That’s why so many single people spend hours analyzing emails from dates trying to figure out if “I’m busy at work” is a brush-off, or wondering whether that invitation of “I’ll make dinner for you” indicates a desire to share a whole lot more than a favorite garlic chicken recipe. How can you suss out what someone’s really trying to say? To help you out, we got a bevy of dating experts to decode eight common lines so you’ll spend less time scratching your head and more time communicating.

Line: “I’d love to stay out, but I have to get up really early tomorrow.”
What it means: “Sorry, you just aren’t floating my boat.”

Of course, if it’s 2 a.m. or your date follows up with, “But let’s get together soon—maybe this weekend?” the fact that he or she want to end the date is no big deal. But if the night is young or your date mentions an aversion to staying out late in the middle of, say, appetizers, that’s not a good sign. Your date may sense there’s no connection and want to exit sooner rather than later, says Steve Nakamoto, author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Catching A Man. At least look at the upside: This person’s also freeing you from a situation that’s not going anywhere, so just enjoy your dinner, then skedaddle.

Line: “I had such a good time with you.”
What it means: “Wow, you’re actually fun and different from all the other guys/girls!”


This sentence might sound generic, but try saying it out loud: It sounds far more intense than a mere “I had a nice night,” doesn’t it? “This is a way of revealing how you feel without getting too heavy,” says Laurie Puhn, J.D., author of Instant Persuasion: How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life. “The person is letting you know that he or she really might like you, and trying to find out if you possibly feel the same.” So if the interest is mutual, let your date know by responding in kind.

Line: “I’m just not ready for a relationship.”
What it means: “I’m just not in love with you.”


It’s hard when someone you like tells you he or she’s not in a place to seriously date anyone. But it also makes you hope that the problem is timing, not your personalities. If you can just be patient, you think, things could percolate, right? Wrong. “This means ‘I don’t love you, so if that’s what you want, we should break up,’” says Puhn. Don’t be fooled—when this person does meet someone who has that spark, he or she will indeed be ready for a relationship.

Line: “I’d love to meet up, but I’m just really busy with work right now.”
What it means: “I’m trying to think of a really nice way to blow you off.”


Of course, this person could very well have a full schedule that week. But if he or she doesn’t offer any alternative dates to hang out, what you’re really being told is that this person would rather work than hang out with you. (Sorry.) “Your date very well could be busy. The question is whether your date’s focusing on the problem or finding a solution,” says Puhn. “You can always get away long enough for dinner or a drink with someone or say, ‘I’m going to call you in two weeks after this project is done.’ It’s a matter of priorities.” So if your date isn’t trying to pencil you in, it could be time to write that person off.

Line: “So, gotten any funny emails on Match.com lately?”
What it means: “Are you interested in seeing each other exclusively?”

Let’s face it, it’s intimidating to ask: “So are you seeing anyone else?” And with online dating, there’s a sneakier way to put out feelers: By asking a question that reveals whether someone’s been checking his or her Match.com account for new suitors. “In online dating, you can receive flirtatious emails 24/7, so leaving your profile up sends a message that you’re still open to other prospects,” says Nakamoto. So if your date’s asking anything about your online activities, it’s probably a sign he or she might pop the “So... do you want to see each other exclusively?” question soon.

Line: “So, want to meet for coffee?”
What it means: “Want to meet for a coffee and then have dinner if we like each other?”

It’s always smart to schedule a short, easy-to-end date when you’re first meeting a new person. “Committing to a dinner with someone new can seem like too much for a person who doesn’t want to get stuck at a table for hours if things aren’t clicking,” explains Puhn. Still, many online daters will leave the ensuing hours free in case you two hit it off. That doesn’t mean you should head to your rendezvous with overly high expectations and an empty stomach. If you’re hungry, eat already. If you end up wanting to prolong the fun on your date, you can always suggest going for dessert or a drink.

Line: “I’m meeting my friends for a drink—want to come?”
What it means: “I really like you and want to know if you get along with my pals.”


It may sound like a casual invite, but what your date is saying is that he or she is totally comfortable being seen with you as a couple—and is interested in how you’ll relate to his or her closest comrades. “Meeting the friends is an approval thing,” says Nakamoto. “Women want to see how he treats their friends, and men want to know if his friends like the girl.” It may seem intimidating, but it should actually boost your ego: You’ve passed the first tests and are now on your way to becoming a full-time boyfriend or girlfriend—provided the buddies sign off. If you’re feeling just as positive about the relationship, say “Yes,” and charm away.

Line: “Why don’t you come over and I’ll cook for you?”
What it means: “Ready to get physical?”

Cooking for a person is a show of intimacy in a couple of ways. “The person is really inviting you into his or her life,” says Puhn. “Someone’s apartment is their whole world, so they’re obviously very comfortable with you.” Then, of course, there’s the fact that you’ll conveniently be just a few steps from the couch — and the bedroom — later that night. If it’s a first or early date, this might actually be a bit too personal, especially if you’re not sure how you feel about your future together. But if you’re pretty sure you’re ready to explore things further, congratulations, tonight could be the night!

New York City freelance writer Laura Gilbert has written for Health, Stuff, Maxim, The Knot, and other publications.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine,
www.happenmag.com.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

5 questions to ask on a date

By Ayren Jackson-Cannady

Early date chit-chat can become so formulaic that you walk away knowing little more about a person than a few résumé-ready bullet points: Where he grew up, where she went to school, for whom he toils to get his biweekly paycheck. “We tend to ask more questions about a car or house than about the person we are going out with and potentially entrusting our hearts with,” says Eve Hogan, author of Intellectual Foreplay: Questions for Lovers and Lovers-to-Be. That’s not to say your early get-togethers should be interrogation-quality, with the blinding light bulb, two-way mirror and good-cop/bad-cop act. The trick is to ask questions that aren’t too personal, but still reveal your date’s tastes and his or her values. What’s the difference? Well, if you like Joni Mitchell and your date digs Ice-T, you may assume you’re not a match (different tastes)—unless you can discern that you’re both compelled by politically-minded lyrics (similar values). So next time you’ve got silence to fill, ask one of these playful and engaging questions.

1. What’s your favorite scene from your favorite book or movie? Talking about mass media and pop culture can clue you in to similar interests and worldviews. “Books, movies, and music all transmit powerful messages of hope or emotion,” says Hogan. “If you have radically different preferences, there may be some fundamental differences between the way the two of you look at the world.” But asking your date to name his or her favorite scene can help you distill what’s important to him or her beyond just genre.

2. What do you love about your job? The standard, “What do you do?” is a closed question that doesn’t reveal much about a person other than a job title. But if you phrase the career question a bit differently, you can delve into your date’s likes and dislikes; reveal his or her strengths; see how he or she handles conflict; and find out how happy this person is with life overall. Think about the different impressions you’ll form if your date answers the question, “Knowing that I’m helping people fulfill their dream” versus “Deciding what to order for lunch!”

3. What’s your definition of a relationship? Granted, it takes a bit of build-up to ask this question (usually, once you begin discussing your dating histories, you can slip this one in), but it’s worth asking. Does your date want to be wined and dined, or are you both looking for a 50/50 relationship? It’s too soon to know what this specific potential relationship will look like, but a question like this lets you share your expectations and fundamental beliefs. “I like to ask this question early on, because I’ve found that some women I’ve dated didn’t know what they wanted out of our relationship,” says Mario Webb of Ft. Walton Beach, FL. “They came into it just hoping things work out without telling me what they expect. Needless to say, things haven’t worked out.” And if your date’s answer is outside the range of what you consider acceptable, you’ve saved yourself future heartbreak by finding out before you fall for him or her.

4. If money were no object, what would you do with your life? This tried-and-true icebreaker showcases your date’s hopes, dreams, and even regrets—topics that often remain untouched by even serious romantic partners. The answers can range from a desire to travel to going back to school to learning how to play the violin. Two buttoned-up stockbrokers might discover they both share a secret longing to be athletes or a shared devotion to public service. Your date’s response will help clue you in to common goals and interests that go beyond what you do on a day-to-day basis.

5. Will you share an embarrassing moment with me? This fun question is great to ask when a date has gotten a little tense or quiet, because it reveals both details of your date’s history and his or her character. Just know that you may have to share an awkward experience first in order to make your date feel comfortable. “One of the great things is that our humanity is a bonding thing,” says Hogan. “Our ability to laugh at ourselves is critical in a budding relationship.” So make it clear that you’re not looking for dirt on that plagiarism incident in 11th grade, but rather something goofy, like the time you drove a golf cart into the water, installed a chandelier upside-down and so forth.

By asking these questions and considering the answers, you’ll gain valuable insights onto your date—and know whether the two of you are likely to click on future get-togethers.

Ayren Jackson-Cannady has written for Quick and Simple, Time Out New York, and Suede.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

6 secret guy turn-ons

By Matt Schneiderman

Sure, girlie-girl moves — a hair flip here, an eye batted there — will attract a guy... some of the time. But you may be surprised at the things guys really can’t resist about women, and some of them are the very qualities women fear will drive men away—from letting a curse word loose to leaving all kinds of makeup near his bathroom sink. Here’s why these habits and others actually win a man over.

1. He loves that you indulge at dinnertime. Guys love girls who love to eat—not girls who say they aren’t hungry and then pick at their date’s food all night. Paul, 30, who lives in Boston, thinks that food may be the reason he fell in love with his fiancée: “When we first started dating, I thought it might be awkward if I wanted greasy food like wings—I figured she’d think it was fattening or unhealthy. Women I’d dated in the past only wanted to go out for salad or sushi. But she was enthusiastic about eating all kinds of things with me. I loved that easygoing attitude of hers.” Aside from showing that you’re not high-maintenance or neurotic about your weight, that kind of unabashed enthusiasm also tends to translate into other areas—including the bedroom. “A woman with a healthy appetite for food tends to have a healthy appetite on all levels, and sex is absolutely a part of that,” explains Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., author of Emotional Fitness for Couples: 10 Minutes a Day to a Better Relationship.

2. He loves your occasional obscenities. You may worry that it’s not ladylike, but occasionally letting a curse escape your lips at an unexpected moment can be a major turn-on. “Hearing a woman use profanity out of context gives a guy a shock of sexual adrenaline,” explains Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman and co-host of Discovery Health’s Love on the Rocks. “Men like women who can be tough and assertive, and as long as she doesn’t take the talk too far, it’s a positive thing.”

3. He loves that you aren’t a neat freak. Believe it or not, guys find the proliferation of hair products, accessories and unidentified stuff strewn about your apartment oddly sexy. “I love that my wife makes a bigger mess than I do,” says Ziad, 31, of Durham, NC. “When she cooks, food ends up all over the place. It shows that she’s carefree, and it reminds me to enjoy the moment rather than worrying about the consequences.” This laid-back mind-set also carries over into your weekend wardrobe. “Guys love a woman who’s not trying too hard,” explains Dr. Kerner. “Most men think a pair of boxer shorts and a ratty old T-shirt around the house is your sexiest look.” So don’t spend hours choosing the perfect date-night outfit or getting your place in House Beautiful–shape, because men love you just as you are—in your comfortable, slightly sloppy glory.

4. He loves your extra padding. Sure, you’ve heard that men love women with curves, but how about those extra pounds you’ve been trying to sweat off at the gym? There’s a good chance that your guy loves them, too. Just ask 26-year-old Nick: “My girlfriend exercises regularly, but I think the little pudginess in her thighs is sexy because it shows she’s not perfect.” Sure, your extra padding may make men feel a little better about their own beer bellies, but there’s also a biological reason why men like this. Psychologists at the University of TX determined that men were most attracted to women with hourglass figures — specifically, women whose waists were 60 to 80 percent smaller than their hips — regardless of their weight. They theorize that men unconsciously seek this body type because it signals that a woman is able to procreate.

5. He’s fascinated by your knowledge of medieval tapestries. Or whatever it is that gets you all hot and bothered—whether or not he shares the same interests. “It’s not about knowing facts—it’s about being passionate about something,” says romance columnist Mira Kirshenbaum, author of The Weekend Marriage. “These are things that are important to her, not just stuff meant to impress a guy.” This can be passion for a subject as seemingly obscure as agricultural practices of the Mayans or as popular as Spanish as a second language. He may not quite get it and he may not want to have all-night discussions about it, but he definitely appreciates the fact that you’re a smart, interesting woman who thinks for herself and doesn’t mold her interests to match those of her man. Your interests also fuel what Kerner calls the process of self-expansion. “The more you expand as a person,” he explains, “the more the relationship expands.”

6. He loves a good head rub from you. Don’t get me wrong—men love it when you grope their erogenous zones. But that’s not the only type of touch they crave. Adam, 28, of Roanoke, VA, confesses: “I love how my wife rubs my head at night.” Sweet, yes, but it also feels oh-so-good: Home to hundreds of nerve endings, the scalp is an often-neglected zone. And light touches anywhere can achieve a similar effect, since they cause his body to produce vasopressin, a feel-good relaxation hormone that also promotes bonding. Another positive side effect? Initiating any kind of physical contact sends your man the message that you want him just as much as he wants you—and that you truly care about him.

Matt Schneiderman has written for Stuff, Cargo, and Sync magazines.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

59 Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30



1. Coin his own nickname.

2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.

3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.

4. Hacky sack.

5. Name his "unit" his name plus junior.

6. Hang art with tape.

7. Hang The Scream, unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.

8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"

9. Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ass?"

10. Skip.

11. Take a camera to a nude beach.

12. Let his father do his taxes.

13. Tap on the glass.

14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?"

15. Use the word collated on his resume.

16. Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.

17. Name pets after Middle Earth characters.

18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.

19. Give shout-outs.

20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information, or "the 313" for Detroit.

21. Hug amusement-park characters.

22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.

23. Wake up to a "morning zoo."

24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."

25. Request extra sprinkles.

26. Air drum.

27. Choose 69 as his jersey number.

28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.

29. Volunteer to be a magician's assistant.

30. Sleep on a bare mattress.

31. End a conversation with "later skater."

32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.

33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"

34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.

35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.

36. Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.

37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.

38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."

39. Whine.

40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."

41. Purchase fireworks.

42. Google the word vagina.

43. Ride a pony.

44. Sport an ironic mustache.

45. Hit 13 against a 6.

46. Organize a party bus.

47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.

48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.

49. Keg stands.

50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.

51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.

52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.

53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.

54. Read The Fountainhead.

55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.

56. Refer to his girlfriend's breasts as "the twins."

57. Own a vanity plate.

58. Whippits.

59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."

Things A Man Should Never Do Past The Age of One

By Jasper Jacobs, age 17 months

Get circumcised.

Spend more than ten minutes looking at a checkerboard pattern (exception: peyote users).

Look longingly at his mother's breasts.

Urinate in his mouth.

Be terrified of Mr. Noodle on Elmo's World.

Cry at the sight of a wooden spoon.

Eat pureed Wheat Thins.

Suck on the corner of a laptop.

Go willingly into the arms of strangers.

Lose neck control.

Have a favorite Higglytown Hero.

"Make nice."

Wear a unitard.

Read The Fountainhead.

Find these and many more immature taboos in Esquire's Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30, available now. Buy it, use it, give it to a hopeless friend.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Time of my life

As I type the first letter of this sentence, I've been alive for 9295 days and 12 hours, equivalent to 803,131,200 seconds. How I wish these numbers were the amount of money (in £ of course, heheheh) I have in the bank :P

Good night people... and don't forget to breath!

P/S: Can someone count how many seconds has it been since my last posting? Imagine if that's the amount I have to pay for not updating my blog... Eeek! LaterZ!

Friday, July 21, 2006

Question Time: 22 questions for (Tun Dr) Mahathir

By P Gunasegaram

Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi is only in his third year as Prime Minister but his pre­decessor Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad already has four questions for his administration to answer. They relate to Proton’s sale of MV Agusta; the exit of the former Proton chief executive officer; approved permits for cars; and scrapping of the bridge project.

While we would like to hear a better explanation from the government than what has been given so far, Abdullah should not be the only one answering questions. I am sure we all have questions for Mahathir too — on how he ran the country for 22 years. Here’s a list of 22 questions or rather 22 groups of questions we would like to ask Mahathir, one for each of his 22 years in power:

On clean government. You came to power in 1981 and introduced the slogan “bersih, cekap dan amanah” (clean, efficient and trustworthy). What did you do to further that? Did you make the Anti-Corruption Agency more independent and effective? Did you ensure that the police and judiciary did their job properly and reduce corruption in their ranks? Did you ensure that ministers and chief ministers not have income beyond their legal means? How many big guns were prosecuted for corruption offences during your long tenure? What happened to “bersih, cekap dan amanah”?

Press freedom. Your criticism of the government got plenty of coverage in the local media whereas during your time, criticisms against you by two former prime ministers were muted in the mainstream newspapers. Editors in Umno-linked newspapers too were removed during your time for not toeing the line. What did you do to advance the cause of responsible press freedom?

Proton. You went ahead with the national car project in 1983 despite a number of experts disagreeing with you, especially with respect to lack of economies of scale. Isn’t it true that Proton’s profits over the last 20 years came out of vastly higher prices that the Malaysian public has to pay to subsidise Proton, resulting in considerable hardship for Malaysians who need cars because of the poor public transport system? More lately, why was it necessary for Proton to buy a stake in a failed Italian motorcycle manufacturer when it could not even produce cars competitively?

Heavy industries. Why did you push into heavy industries such as steel and cement in the 1980s, ignoring studies which suggested developing natural resource-based industries instead? They caused major problems and billions of ringgit in losses.

Population. Why did you encourage a population of 70 million for Malaysia and change the name of the National Family Planning Board to the National Population Development Board? How do you expect poor people to take care of five, six or more children? What kind of quality of life can they provide their children?

Immigration. Why did you allow hordes of people to immigrate, mainly from Indonesia, in such an unregulated way that there are as many or more illegal immigrants than legal ones now, accounting for some two million or more people? Did you not realise that this would cause serious social problems?

On his first deputy. Some five years after you came to power, there were serious rifts between you and your deputy Datuk (now Tun) Musa Hitam. What was the cause of these problems and was it because you were heavy-handed and did not consult your ministers?

On the first serious Umno split. When Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah and Musa took on Tun Ghafar Baba and you at the Umno general assembly of 1987, it caused a serious split in Umno, with you winning by a very narrow margin (761 to 718). Why did you not seek to heal the rift in Umno post the elections? Instead, you purged Umno and its successor Umno Baru of those who opposed you, causing an unprecedented split in Malay unity.

Operasi Lalang. Why did you have to resort to this move in October 1987, when you used wide powers of detention under the Internal Security Act to detain over 100 people, close down four newspapers and cause a wave of fear throughout the country? Was it to consolidate your tenuous hold on power then by using an oppressive law?

Judiciary. What was your motive to take action in 1988 to remove the then Lord President and several Supreme Court judges from their positions under allegations of judicial misconduct, a move which was heavily criticised by the Bar Council and other bodies? Was it because you needed more compliant judges whose rulings would not threaten your position of power in a number of cases in court? Was this the first step in dismantling the judiciary’s role as a system of checks and balances against the legislature and the executive? What have you to say to repeated assertions by many, including prominent ex-chief justices, who maintain that this led to the erosion of judicial independence?

Education. You presided over the education system at an important part of its transformation first as Education Minister in the 1970s, then as Prime Minister. Would it be correct to surmise therefore that you were also responsible for its decline during those years? Why did you not spend more money and resources to ensure that our education system was excellent and continued to improve but instead spent billions on other showpiece projects? Why did you allow our national school system, which is the ideal place to develop ties among young Malaysians, to become so divisive that today, 90% of those who attend national schools come from only one race while the rest have opted out?

Former finance minister Tun Daim Zainuddin. Why did you give this one man so much power? And you have not given a satisfactory explanation why he left government the second time round. Did it have anything to do with the forced consolidation of banks? Why did the government buy back Malaysian Airline System (MAS) at RM8 a share in 2000 from Tan Sri Tajudin Ramli when the market price was less than half that?

Cronyism and patronage. Did you not encourage cronyism and patronage by dishing out major projects to a few within the inner circle? People such as Tan Sri Halim Saad (the Renong group — toll roads, telecommunications and so on), Tajudin (mobile telephone group TRI and MAS), Tan Sri Amin Shah Omar (the failed PSC Industries — multi-billion ringgit naval dockyard contracts) and Tan Sri Ting Pek Khiing (Ekran — the Bakun Dam), to mention just a few?

Privatisation. Why did you allow privatisation to take place in such a manner that the most profitable parts of government operations were given away? Toll roads had guaranteed toll increases and compensation in the event traffic projections were not met. Independent power producers had contracts that guaranteed them profits at the expense of Tenaga Nasional.

Tun Ghafar Baba. Although Ghafar had the highest number of votes among Umno vice-presidents when Tun Hussein Onn became Prime Minister in 1976, you, who got the lowest number of votes, were chosen as Hussein’s deputy. Yet, when you called upon Ghafar to be your deputy in 1986 when you fell out with Musa, he obliged, helping you to win the Umno presidency. Yet, you and your supporters did little to back him up when he was challenged for the deputy presidency in 1993 by Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim. Can we say that you stabbed him in the back? And what about Hussein, the man who picked you as his successor? He died not as a member of Umno as he had refused to join your Umno Baru.

Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim. Did you move against him because he was a threat to your position in 1998? Did you use the entire government machinery at your disposal to get him sentenced? Do you think he got a fair trial? Don’t you think the country suffered terribly because of nothing more than a power struggle involving the two of you?

Kuala Lumpur International Airport. Was it really necessary to spend RM10 billion on a showpiece airport at Sepang when Subang airport could have been so easily expanded?

Putrajaya. What is the justification for spending RM20 billion on a grandiose government city at a time when office space was available in Kuala Lumpur? Could the money not have been put to better use, such as improving educational resources?

Government-linked companies. Why did you not make efforts to improve the performance of GLCs? Why did you allow funds such as the Employees Provident Fund and Kumpulan Wang Amanah Pencen to take up dubious investments? These have led to hundreds, if not billions, of ringgit in losses to these funds.

Islamisation. At the end of your tenure after your falling out with Anwar, you criticised the extreme elements in Islam of taking control of government institutions and doing things that divided Muslims from non-Muslims. But isn’t it true you started it all with your “Menyerap Nilai-Nilai Islam Dalam Pentadbiran Negara” policy of 1981 when you lured Anwar into Umno to help you promote it? And why did you declare that Malaysia was an Islamic state when it is clearly enshrined in our Federal Constitution as the wishes of our founding fathers that Malaysia should be a secular country given our multi-racial and multi-religious composition? Were you trying to reverse the policy of the nation’s founding leaders?

Approved permits. You blamed International Trade and Industry Minister Datuk Seri Rafidah Aziz for the AP fiasco. As we recall, you appointed her and kept her at the ministry since 1986 until you stepped down in 2003 and never once complained or took action over the issuance of APs by the ministry. Indeed, she was embroiled in some controversy over bumiputera share allotment but you stood by her. So why make it an issue now? If you say you were not aware back then, what does that tell us?

Money politics. Why did money politics (vote buying) in Umno become such a big issue during your tenure as Umno president? Why were you so powerless to do anything about it when the solutions were so simple? There are other questions, of course, but this is our list of 22. In the same way that Mahathir hopes the government will answer his questions, we hope that Mahathir will answer ours.

P Gunasegaran is group executive editor of The Edge. Comments: feedback@bizedge.com

While others are hoping for a resolution to end this conflict (or misunderstanding, in my point of view) as soon as possible, this dude trots along and adds fuel to the fire. Now, how can there be Press Freedom when the press refuse to behave themselves?

And, since when did The Edge start pressing politics?

Monday, July 17, 2006

Gone Dutch

I ordered a couple of jeans from vondutch.com last Friday, and I must say that I was quite impressed by the time it took them to reach my doorstep. At least the USD50.00 shipping cost was well worth it. I could even track the exact location of the package, real time (see below)!!!. Well done FedEx!


One thing though... I should've opted for gift wrapping at the checkout screen and declared them as gifts, then I wouldn't have to pay the RM111.00 tax the Malaysian Customs & Excise guys decided to impose. Despite the previous orders from various online shops, this was the first.

Oh well, like they always say... First time for everything, aye? Cheeky bastards!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Desperate Spoilt Brats


I'm a Starbucks addict.

Almost everyday after lunch, we would stop by the outlet in Pusat Bandar Damansara for our daily Venti dose of Skinny Hot Chocolate and Coffee-based Caramel Frappucino with whipped cream. And if we don't go out, we'd call everyone to see if anyone is anywhere near one! The Friendfinder service by Maxis makes more sense now than before. If only it came preset as a standard feature for all! Haha

The Brat Pack:

N: Chatterbox; Drives an S-Class to work;
L: Ferragamo Queen; Recently won the Harvard Jackpot
I: Fashion Addict; Gets high on Perfumes

L invited N and I out for lunch one day at Penang Village Desa Hartamas. We met up with L's old friend from Uni, who brought along another friend. The food was alrite but, something was amiss...

Starbucks!!!

Somehow that day became a test of will, survival, devotion and loyalty.

We soon discovered that I had left my wallet in the office but managed to find 6 bucks in my pocket, L had only 20 bucks left after paying for her car wash and parking, and N is now skint with nothing to her name! So in the end, we had only 30 bucks to get ourselves caffeinated.

With our sugar levels dropping rapidly, L took the streets like never before and sent N off for the mission. After a long wait, the phone rang:

"Get me more money! Quick!" shouted N. We started laughing hysterically as L dug for more change in the ash tray. I rushed inside and found N waiting innocently at the counter with the unimpressed barista looking on, on the other side.

Swearing to ourselves that we would never be poor again, we rushed to L's car, got in and laughed profusely. The results?

We got:

1 X smallest-sized Skinny Hot Chocolate;
2 X smallest-sized Caramel Frappucino, no whipped cream, no extra caramel sauce;

and a 3-sen change!

While others would survive on rice and salt, what would spoilt brats do if they were down to their last buck? Well, now you know! Heheh

Lessons Learnt?

Keep a can of whipped cream in the car!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Working On Love

By Margot Carmichael Lester

"Sure, I’ve heard the modern cliché ‘Don't fish off the company pier,’ but for today's professional who spends so much time at work, who really has time to go to anyone else’s pier?,” asks Stephanie Byrd of Irving, TX.


Exactly. Almost half (42 percent) of today’s workforce is single, according the Bureau of Labor Statistics. And a 2005 Harris Interactive survey found that over one-third (36 percent) of them date people they meet at work. So if you’re back on the dating scene, don’t overlook the possibility that you might find a new special someone on the job.

“There’s no question that the workplace is sometimes the world’s greatest singles bar,” admits John Challenger of global outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas. “There are fewer barriers to getting to know each other because you work together or perhaps even travel together, and you have hours and hours to get to know each other. So in many respects, the workplace is the best place to meet people.”

Love Is In the Air
So how exactly can you connect with someone at work? First, consider some of the more social areas of your work life:
  • Attend office happy hours
  • Join a company sports team
  • Volunteer for inter-departmental projects
  • Get involved with company community service programs

And don’t forget the old-fashioned way: Strike up a conversation at the copier or office supply cabinet. That’s how it happened for Charlie Leone, who met his wife at work. “We courted each other while preparing FedEx labels, stuffing press kits and asking each other for useless office supplies.”

Improve Your Chances
Here’s how you can increase your chances of finding love at a water cooler near you:

Take a shot. The old saying “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” is true. If you see someone at a company event or in the break room, initiate contact. “When I started at my current company, I didn't have a lot of friends in my area,” recalls Vicky Charles of Chicago. “A lot of the people at work were young and single, so we started going out for happy hour once a week.” That’s where she met her boyfriend. “Once everyone started hanging out, we kind of migrated towards each other and became close friends.”

Be strategic. In big companies, you may have to work a little harder to meet your match. Dan Coley of Irving, TX, volunteered to be on a project team for two reasons: “First, it was a good career opportunity, but it didn’t hurt that there was a gorgeous, intelligent woman on the team who I was dying to meet,” he says. “Working together for six weeks enabled us to get to know each other easily and our friendship continued after the projects. A few months later, it was love.”

Get connected. Don’t be afraid to leverage your professional network for personal gain by enlisting a colleague as a wing man (or wing woman, as the case may be). “I told my friend in accounting that I was interested in meeting one of her co-workers,” says Tony Latrell of Madison, WI. “She told me where they were having lunch the next day and I ‘just happened to be there.’ That was how I met my girlfriend.”

Be discreet. Whether it’s a bar or a boardroom, you don’t want to come off as a swinging-single cliché. “I knew Tad was interested, but he was very cool about it,” says a marketing manager in New York. “He was all business in the hallways and at meetings, but he’d flirt a little in the parking garage. I liked that because it showed he recognized the line between business and pleasure, and it made me less self-conscious in the workplace.”

Now that you’re all excited about finding love in the cubicle farm, here’s a word of caution: Some companies have policies regarding office romances. Most employee handbooks outline all policies clearly, but if you want to be on the safe side, check with your human resources department. “Employers can’t ban office romances, but they can regulate some behaviors,” Challenger says. “You should know if your employer has a policy, what it says and what the consequences are if you go against it. It’s good to know your company’s stand on employee romances before you dive in,” Challenger says. That’s because once you’re head over heels, who wants to worry about policy manuals? Do the smart thing and do some research upfront.

Carrboro, NC-based Margot Carmichael Lester has written about careers for the Los Angeles Business Journal and Fortune. She’s also the author of The Real Life Guide to Starting Your Career.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Da Joke's On Moi...

"What a load of crap!"

Now there's a line I would like to dedicate to The Malaysian Linguistic Association (MALAS).

With reference to the article entitled the above, I am extremely appalled by the calls to ban the movie, 'The Da Vinci Code' by the association. Obviously, MALAS has nothing better to do.

Their reason for calling the ban is due to the word 'Da', which they thought was a linguistic misusage of the word, 'The'. It is not! Da Vinci is part of the name, Leonardo Da Vinci, therefore there is no such misusage in the movie's title.

One should first explore the reasoning behind the naming of the book/movie etc. before passing judgement such as this, to avoid people like me writing in in (is this a linguistic error too?) the hopes to embarrass people such as MALAS president Ambi Mohan.

For his sake, here's the first paragraph to the text explaining the plot from the book:

"While in Paris on business, Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon receives an urgent late-night phone call: the elderly curator of the Louvre has been murdered inside the museum. Near the body, police have found a baffling cipher. Solving the enigmatic riddle, Langdon is stunned to discover it leads to a trail of clues hidden in the works of Da Vinci…clues visible for all to see…and yet ingeniously disguised by the painter."

Now can you see where the title is coming from?

The article's last paragraph read, "The film's producers could not be reached for comment." Thank god for that otherwise Malaysia will be a laughing stock, again?

Come on la people... Don't be MALAS and find something better to do, or get a real job! Or go after the people who misuse our Malay language eg. Prebiu for Preview instead of Sedutan. Even the word, 'Sedutan' seem to be questionable.


Silly me. I should've known.

Amir Muhammad got what he wanted out of his satirical work of art. Yes, the joke's on me. I rest my case. The question is, who'll be the idiot next week? For I know he's got me now and is hungry for more.

Don't let your inkwell dry Amir Muhammad...

Amir Muhammad writes satire. He’s known for that. He wrote for NST column six years ago before he stopped. He was considered too controversial. In the word of Raman’s Silverfish Lit Mag: “Amir is no dilettante. He doesn't have to constantly talk about doing something because he does it. And I have some idea of how exacting he is.” This is his first stint in NST after his last column years ago. And it’s going to be in the parallel of Stephen Colbert’s The Colbert Report and John Stewart’s Daily Show satire, or maybe in the tone of the harmless comedic Fark.com and The Onion News, where a lot of learned people tend to be gullible. Mail him at kancah2001@yahoo.com - Commentary by fez@daftsavant.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Cheesiest Line from the Cheesiest Movie

If only the women today are as humorously forgiving... :P

Lehua: You're late!

Rick: Late?

Lehua: Don't you remember we have a date?

Rick: What time?

Lehua: 8 o'clock, two years ago!

Rick: And you've been waiting all this while? You must be starving!

Lehua: Not anymore. I already ate my heart out...

Elvis Presley & Linda Wong in Paradise, Hawaiian Style (1966)

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Ramble In The Jungle

YABhg Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad’s response to the statement by Ambassador-at-large Tan Sri Fuzi Abdul Razak
1. Tan Sri Fuzi’s rambling explanation about the Bridge over the Tebrau Straits on April 25, 2006, serves only to convince that the Government’s priority and intention is to sell sand to Singapore. If it is not allowed to do so then Malaysia will not get its bridge. The reasoning why the bridge cannot be built comes later and it was not convincing at all.

2. The Tan Sri, as a seasoned diplomat must know that treaties or agreements solemnly entered into by two countries, as are agreements between two parties can only be modified, changed or added to if both sides agree. If there is a dispute regarding the provision or interpretation of the agreement, then there should be arbitration or reference to courts. This is a part of International Law.

3. The provisions of the Wayleave Agreements are precise and clear. There is no specific provision for consulting and obtaining the necessary approval of Singapore for the relocation of the PUB water pipelines.

4. In case the Tan Sri has not read the Wayleave Agreement, I quote below the relevant paragraph; > > “That the Licensee (i.e. Singapore) shall take full responsibility financially or otherwise for any alteration to the pipeline that may become necessary by reason of any alteration or improvements made or to be made on the Johore Causeway and on receiving not less than six months previous notice in writing from the licensors (i.e. Malaysia) shall thereupon carry out the alteration in accordance with such notice and shall have no claim for any compensation.”

5. The provision is specific for the causeway. Singapore can claim it does not apply to pipes laid on land, (although the normal practice is to regard Wayleave Agreements to apply all the way) but it cannot claim that the Agreement does not apply to the Causeway. There can therefore be no reason for not complying with the Wayleave Agreement with regard to the causeway.

6. In fact there had been many alterations to the causeway and pipelines in the past without any objection by Singapore or Malaysia.

7. Because Singapore was unwilling to make a decision on building its side of the bridge to replace its side of the causeway, I informed Singapore that Malaysia intended to build a bridge on its side to land on a part of the causeway also on its side. The Singapore side of the causeway will not be touched. The connection will continue to be between the retained portion of the Johore Causeway and the Singapore half of the causeway.

8. The Singapore PM, Goh Chok Tong in his letter to me clearly stated that “ …… if you wish to proceed immediately to replace just your side of the Causeway with a bridge, I shall accept it, though I think this is not ideal.”

9. There was no condition attached to this acceptance, no mention of sand or airspace.

10. Although the exchange was in the form of letters, it was clear and recorded in writing that I proposed to build a bridge on the Malaysian side and the Singapore PM accepted it. Thus a unilateral decision became bilateral when Singapore acceded and accepted. Any change must similarly be agreed to by both sides.

11. For Singapore to add conditions more than two years later for the supply or 50 million cubic meters of sand for 20 years and to allow the Singapore Air Force to fly in Malaysian Air Space would constitute unilateral change. Malaysia can reject the new condition and insist on Singapore honouring the agreement between the two Prime Ministers.

12. It is the Malaysian Government, which tacitly agreed to the Singapore unilateral condition when it decided that it would not build the bridge because it is not in a position to supply sand or open its airspace because of opposition by Malaysians.

13. The proper thing to do if the Government wants to build the bridge would be to seek arbitration or refer to a court if Malaysia is uncertain as to the right of Singapore to impose new conditions unilaterally. Actually there is no need to doubt Malaysian rights in its own territorial waters. But the Government of Malaysia did not do its best to reject the condition. It gave in supposedly because the Malaysian legal authorities believe Singapore is in the right. It would be interesting to read the grounds for the A.G. to conclude that Singapore has what amounts to extra territorial rights and Malaysia has no sovereign right within its own territorial waters.

14. Talks about the possibility of Singapore refusing to allow the bridge to connect with the Singapore half of the causeway is sheer nonsense. The Malaysian bridge will land on the Malaysian portion of the causeway. The only way Singapore can prevent traffic from the bridge from passing through from the Malaysian portion of the Causeway into the Singapore half is to put a barrier across the causeway border. This would certainly constitute an unfriendly act. It would be Singapore cutting its nose to spite its face. The damage to Singapore businesses would be at least as bad as that which Malaysia may suffer. But in reality Singapore needs Malaysia more than Malaysian needs Singapore. We have our ports and airports to replace Singapore ports, airports and other services.

15. All in all it is clear that the Malaysian Government is more interested in selling sand to Singapore than to build the bridge. This keenness to sell sand is strange for Malaysia does not need the proceeds from sale of sand. Despite my alleged profligate ways when I was PM Malaysia is not so bankrupt that it has to depend on selling sand.

16. That any Malaysian leader should not shudder in horror at the idea of scraping ONE BILLION SQ. METERS from Malaysian sea-beds continuously over a period of 20 years, thereby destroying all the fish breeding grounds of Malaysian seas, depriving Malaysian fishermen of their livelihood, destroying Malaysia’s marine ecology defies the imagination. That there should be any Malaysian leader willing to entertain this idea, to destroy Malaysian seas to satisfy Singapore speaks badly of his love for his country.

Dr Mahathir bin Mohamad

Linguists call for 'Da Vinci Code' ban - page 14 NST, Thursday, May 4, 2006

By Amir Muhammad

The Malaysian Linguistic Association (Malas) has echoed calls by other parties to ban the controversial movie The Da Vinci Code.

The film is an adaptation of a best-selling novel that deals with some aspects of the Christian faith. But the objection by Malas has nothing to do with theology because "we don't even know who Theo is", says its president Ambi Mohan.

The association's chief objection is, instead, linguistic.

"For too long we have sat by and allowed language to be polluted but we have decided that enough's enough. The Da Vinci Code should be banned because we don't want to encourage youngsters to use 'da' as a lazy shorthand for 'the'.

"We see this in rap lyrics," he claims.

"All this talk about 'hanging out with da hoes'. You should be hanging out with THE hoes. This sort of begs the question of why someone would want to 'hang out' with gardening implements to begin with, but i am not here to question lifestyle choices, merely spelling, grammar and semantics."

He said the association might reconsider its protests if the filmmakers changed its name to The The Vinci Code.

"But even this is problematic because having two 'thes' in a row look ugly. So the film should be called The Vinci Code."

The film's producers could not be reached for comment.

"What a load of crap!"

Now there's a line I would like to dedicate to The Malaysian Linguistic Association (MALAS).

With reference to the article entitled the above, I am extremely appalled by the calls to ban the movie, 'The Da Vinci Code' by the association. Obviously, MALAS has nothing better to do.

Their reason for calling the ban is due to the word 'Da', which they thought was a linguistic misusage of the word, 'The'. It is not! Da Vinci is part of the name, Leonardo Da Vinci, therefore there is no such misusage in the movie's title.

One should first explore the reasoning behind the naming of the book/movie etc. before passing judgement such as this, to avoid people like me writing in in (is this a linguistic error too?) the hopes to embarrass people such as MALAS president Ambi Mohan.

For his sake, here's the first paragraph to the text explaining the plot from the book:

"While in Paris on business, Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon receives an urgent late-night phone call: the elderly curator of the Louvre has been murdered inside the museum. Near the body, police have found a baffling cipher. Solving the enigmatic riddle, Langdon is stunned to discover it leads to a trail of clues hidden in the works of Da Vinci…clues visible for all to see…and yet ingeniously disguised by the painter."

Now can you see where the title is coming from?

The article's last paragraph read, "The film's producers could not be reached for comment." Thank god for that otherwise Malaysia will be a laughing stock, again?

Come on la people... Don't be MALAS and find something better to do, or get a real job! Or go after the people who misuse our Malay language eg. Prebiu for Preview instead of Sedutan. Even the word, 'Sedutan' seem to be questionable.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Seven Signs It's Time to Toss Your Résumé

By Kate Lorenz, CareerBuilder Editor

They've reviewed millions of résumés and seen it all. From the candidate whose stated objective was to "seek a high-paying, relaxing job" to the software developer who included a photo of himself bare-chested, cavorting in the surf.

Corporate recruiters say you'd be surprised at how many candidates leave out important facts, such as the names and locations of companies where they've worked, or include too much information, like the candidate who asterisked her dates of employment with the caveat: "Please do not misconstrue the fact that I have had 12 jobs in six years as job-hopping...I have never quit a job!"

Is your résumé working for you or against you? Here are seven signs it may be time to tweak (or toss) your résumé:

1. No Career Summary/Introductory Statement
Most hiring companies don't have time to match unspecified résumés to open positions, so lead off with a career summary or introductory statement that makes it clear what type of position you are seeking and why you are qualified for the job.

2. Lack of Keywords and Phrases
To pass through a company's applicant tracking software, your résumé must contain the keywords and phrases it is screening for. These words are not the verbs stressed in paper résumés, but nouns such as job titles and technical skills.

To find out what keywords you should be using, read the job posting or obtain the actual job description. You also may want to check out the book 2,500 Keywords to Get You Hired by Jay Block and Michael Betrus, which lists critical keywords for each career and shows examples of how to use them in your résumé.

3. No Evidence of Your Experience
Your résumé should not merely list the jobs you've held; it should provide specific examples of how you achieved success. Résumé-writing professionals recommend using the PARS formula: Describe a Problem, the Action you took, the Results you achieved and Skills you applied.

4. Use of Personal Pronouns and Articles
With just two pages to sell yourself, make each word count. Write in a telegraphic style, eliminating all personal pronouns and articles like "the," "a" and "an." Removing the "I," "me" and "my" from your résumé not only frees up space, but creates a subliminal perception of objectivity.

5. Irrelevant Information
Irrelevant information keeps the reader from seeing your selling points. Weigh each portion of your experience from the hiring company's perspective to decide what to include and what to emphasize. If you're applying for an engineering position, for example, don't devote a whole paragraph to your job as a camp counselor unless the position has elements that are transferable to the engineering job. And never include information about your marital status, personal situation, hobbies or interests unless they are relevant to the job for which you're applying.

6. Poor Formatting
Unless you have no work experience or have held a number of different jobs in a short amount of time, a chronological résumé is the most effective. That means using the following order:

Header (your name, address, e-mail address and phone number)

Career summary, profiling the scope of your experience and skills

Reverse chronological employment history emphasizing achievements

Education

Since poor alignment, spacing and use of bolding and caps make a résumé hard to read, you may want to use a résumé template.

7. Typos and Misspelled Words
From the would-be administrative assistant who claimed to be a "rabid typist" to the executive who boasted that he was "instrumental in ruining the entire operation," misspellings communicate that you have poor writing skills or a lackadaisical attitude. Proofread your résumé carefully and have several friends and family members read it as well.

Last, remember that the purpose of your résumé is to communicate your experiences and accomplishments as they relate to an open position and to obtain a job interview. Because each situation is different, you should tailor your résumé to each opportunity.

Kate Lorenz is the article and advice editor for CareerBuilder.com. She researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues. Other writers contributed to this article.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Cute ways to get close

By Maggie Kim

It’s the end of your first date and suddenly, your date’s personal space seems like a no-fly zone. Breaking the physical barrier for the first time can seem daunting, but here are some real people’s creative maneuvers to get touchy-feely—without seeming creepy.


1. Do a practice touch.
Going for a hand-hold or kiss after not having touched a person at all can be anxiety-provoking for both of you. But casually touching the person mid-conversation gets you both used to being close, which makes things easier later. “I’ll often touch people to emphasize a point, show empathy or even to highlight humor, like an affectionate light slap on the arm,” explains John Emch from Seattle, WA. A similar strategy is to make a relatively big move—but then back off. Peter B. from New York, NY, does this by putting his arm around a date and then removing it. “I’ll just throw my arms around a girl’s shoulder like I would a friend’s at the start of a date,” he says. “It lightens the vibe up immediately because it’s just me being friendly.” It also sends the message early on that he’s interested, which lets his date give her own cues freely and without fear of rejection.

2. Rely on chivalry.
Small, gentlemanly gestures are an unthreatening way to make contact. “I hold my hand out to help a date out of a taxi,” says Jeremy Kagan from New York, NY. “It's polite, and it allows my date to be the one to actually reach out.” Put your hand on your date’s lower back as you go through a door, or help your honey out of a car—or into a coat. “My ex-boyfriend used to help me with my coat, then lift my hair out from under the coat for me,” says Ann Lee from Philadelphia, PA. “It was thoughtful and also sensual to have his hands brush against my neck and stroke my hair.” And ladies, there’s no need to wait for the guy to make a move. “If I’m walking with my date, I reach for his arm so we wind up linking arms,” says Megan of Morristown, NJ.

3. Lean in.
When you’re sitting very close together, the space you must cross to touch one another becomes much smaller—and less terrifying. “I took my now-girlfriend to a concert in the park,” says Bryan Dunn from Austin, TX. “It was really crowded, so we had to stand close together... and that kind of closeness often leads to kissing.” You can get the same effect by sitting right next to each other at a tiny café table, too. Even if you’re not in a crowd or sitting right next to each other, try lowering your voice gradually over the course of the date—you’ll find yourselves leaning closer just to talk, with your faces getting nearer to each other than they would be otherwise.

4. Cook something up.
During at-home dates, teaming up in the kitchen lends itself to getting cozy. “As a chef, I know for a fact that asking your date to help in the kitchen is a good way to initiate touching,” says Matthew K. from Portland, ME. “You make contact when your bodies pass by each other in the close quarters or when you show your date how to chop properly.”

5. Sniff it out.
An innocent excuse to zoom in on a person’s touch zone sends the message that you’re interested in more, and you don’t have to be brazen to pull it off. “I was at a bar with a guy who seemed too shy to make a move, so I sniffed the air near him and said, ‘Wow, what’s that smell?’” says Stasia King from Los Angeles, CA. “I sniffed all around and then zeroed in on his neck area and exclaimed, ‘Oh, it’s you!’ Then I leaned in for a long, slow, circular inhale just under the earlobe. He got the picture after that.”

6. Pick a hands-on date activity.
For an easy intro, choose an activity that requires closeness anyway. “I take my dates salsa dancing,” says Johnny F. from Houston, TX. “You have no choice but to touch each other and move together in a pretty sexy way. Even if you’re not good dancers, you can laugh about how you’re missing the steps.” If dancing isn’t your style, try something else physically active (like rock climbing) that requires participants to make contact.

7. Be direct.
What keeps many people from breaking the touch barrier is not knowing whether their dates are interested. Being brave enough to ask makes it obvious that you are looking for contact, and you two will know what to do next. “I’ve really been straightforward,” says Leonard R. from Los Angeles, CA. “I just say, ‘Can I kiss you?’ It’s worked out pretty well!” Tina H. from Miami, FL, puts a fun twist on it. “I’ve said to guys, ‘You want to kiss me, don’t cha?’ They love it because it takes the pressure off them but it’s still light and fun.”

Maggie Kim is a freelance writer and singer-songwriter in New York City. Find her at www.maggiekim.com.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Doing the March... in a Day!

The one thing I hate about leaving my blog for weeks at a time is to go through the process of regurgitating all the events that happened in between, especially when a lot has happened in the past month or so. From birthdays to other special occasions, and more birthdays… *sigh* Well, at least I get a ‘mind’ workout. So, let’s do this!

To: The Happy Couple

Baked Beans & Japanese

Birthday Eve

It's My Birthday!

Cheap thrills and Brickfields

Alcohology

Mrs. Trunchbull

A slap in the face... and then some!

This morning I received an email from someone close. At first, given the content, I was quite taken aback to be sent this article especially coming from her. But then again, I succumbed and thought it wasn't bad at all and deserved to be shared – Thanks Che’ Adek!

This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes. Andy Rooney says:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.

Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.

Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends.

A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.

Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always already know.

A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old.

And my personal favourite!... Ladies, I apologize for all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free".

Here's an update for you.

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage… why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

True.

Friday, March 31, 2006

An Honest Confession

Dear Blog,

Please accept my apologies for not updating you. I've been too busy with work that I spent my free time doing what I thought was necessary to keep my sanity. Will be back soon!

Shuks

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Mrs. Trunchbull

DBKL is back! Ever since they completed the road-widening works on Jalan Sri Semantan 1 to accommodate more parking spaces, the hungry men in blue has returned. This time, they brought Mrs. Trunchbull along to tow the cars away.

Ariff jokingly (I hope!) told the makcik to tow my car away, but got told off and asked to shut-up instead. Way to go ma’am!!! :P

Jokes aside, a car did get towed away. In fact, I was the one who sent a mass email to the whole office. Thinking that I will be doing the owner a favour by letting him/her know about the bad news, rather than having thought their car was stolen, I felt good… until the “read reply” messages started bouncing back furiously into my mailbox… I forgot to turn off the “Request Read receipt” mode!!! Not a pretty sight considering the number of staff in the group… Argh!!!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Alchohology

A colleague forwarded this to me. I reckon, either it was written by a beer drinkin’ female journalist who hates Irish men, or, the fifty bartenders interviewed for this survey were bias barmaids… read on!

A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer's personality on what drinks they ordered? Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

If Women Drink…

1. Beer
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

2. Cocktails or Blender drinks with umbrella
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

3. Mixed drinks - no umbrellas e.g. Scotch and soda
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

4. Water
Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach: Don't.

5. Wine - (bottled, not 4-litre cask)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

6. Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, Archers Cooler, Smirnoff Ice, etc.
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.

7. Cape Velvet
Personality: Annoying voice; bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

8. Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk... and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub; Nothing to do but wait…

If Men Drink…

1. Cider
He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

2. Cheap Domestic Beer
He's poor / a student and wants to get laid.

3. Castle Lager Beer
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

4. Imported Beer
He's old; likes good beer and wants to get laid.

5. Guinness
The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

6. Water
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid.

7. Wine
He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

8. Vodka or Brandy
Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

9. Port
Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

10. Whisky
He doesn't give two fucks about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

11. Jack Daniels
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

12. Rum or Tequila
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

13. Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, Archers Cooler, Smirnoff Ice, etc.
He's gay (blatantly) - don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change.

Someone asked about a girl who drinks champagne and he got:

“High Maintenance Upper-class Socialite”…

or so I thought.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Cheap thrills and Brickfields...

The car bearing no: BGW 1937 please take note that your car screen has been smashed. Kindly attend to it immediately.

Thank you.

Zaida Ya’cob
Not again?!!!

Great. Another visit to not just one police station, but two – one to lodge a report, and the other to repeat the whole story again to an IO in order to initiate an investigation (What investigation?). The only difference was this time, it rained.

Friday, March 10, 2006

It's My Birthday!

The day was flooded with phone calls. And one in particular was an invitation to a family dinner at Sheraton Subang. Luckily, time flew in my favour due to the workload I was handling. Great! Time to meet the family!

As usual, I was fashionably late. But then again, so was everyone… it’s the family norm. Funny, but somehow it works for us ‘coz we always turn up at the same time even if, we’re not on time.

I love family gatherings. It makes me feel so important; being the youngest uncle and all. Not just that, but also the fact that our family is huge! Every time we go out, we always have to split the table… the kids and their au pairs, and the adults… us. Both our parents come from families that value the principles of togetherness and respect – “Big equates Power”. So naturally, our upbringing too was nurtured with these principles we have managed to preserve, and hopefully carry on.

Besides, how often do we get free dinners, eh? :P

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Birthday Eve

Nothing much happened today apart from getting mad at Jon for being so insensitive. As a result, I turned into a self-righteous bitch that barked at everyone the whole afternoon, just because tomorrow is my birthday.

We played Taboo! again that night. It was a wonderful night. Ariff, Timoer, Nadia, Lyn and Adrinna were around to wish me Happy Birthday when the clock ticked past. We toasted to the occasion with a bottle of Burgundy and chatted the night away.

P/S: Congratulations Timoer & Lyn :P

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Baked Beans & Japanese

Thanks to one of Rina’s silly emails, I started the day talking about baked beans and English breakfast, of which the former I have grown to hate.

I managed to catch Nik’s attention and reminisce the days when we woke up to a freezing winter; him in Edinburgh and me in a boarding school in Brighton. The typical breakfast menu would consist of hash browns, bacon, pork and/or chicken sausages, scrambled eggs, French toasts, sautéed mushrooms and onions, some other usual stuff du jour, and last but not least, the baked beans. If I could recall, Nik’s favourite was cooked with a dollop of HP Brown sauce, diced onions, oregano and pepper to taste and a dollop of melted butter, on top of a sunny side up egg laid over 2 pieces of cheese toasties, grated cheddar, garlic butter and 2 thick pieces of wholemeal bread… phew!

It all sounds so yummy doesn’t it? Not for me though. Too much of the same had turned me into a ‘baked-beans-o-phobic’. I can no longer stand the sight, the texture and most importantly, the smell… Buehhhk!!!

Beans aside, I decided to have lunch with Timoer and the girls at Sugimoto. For some work-related reason that day, I was in a foul but polite mood. This odd calamity was even more threatened by the waitress who conveniently, started to misbehave. Let’s just not go there.

The food came and went. Surprisingly, they didn’t taste cheap. For dessert, we had ‘tarot’ and ‘divorce’ served on the table. Come to think of it, we still haven’t finished debating our thoughts on the latter. But at least now I know why Timoer wanted to sit ‘there’. :P

Monday, March 06, 2006

To: The Happy Couple...

It’s now 3 days before my 25th birthday, and I still haven’t made plans to celebrate yet.

Last night, I loaded a big corrugated box into the car. It’s a long-overdue wedding present for the newly weds; a sweet and darling couple I got to know not long ago. I must say, the distinctive ‘senyum kambing’ is merely a façade to… a fiery and aspiring investment banker-cum-strategist extraordinaire.

So, that night he dropped me at my car that’s usually parked in front of Sara’s house, and transferred the goods to his boot as quickly as we could - I swear it might have looked like some illegal activity taking place! :P

Dear Shahrir and Mardiana,

Congratulations! I hope the gift has proven useful in your newly established household. All the best in the years ahead and may God bless you both with everything beautiful…

Kind regards,
Shukor

Sunday, March 05, 2006

What is left after smoking 10 joints a day for 30 years...

Claim ONE: "Critical skills related to attention, memory and learning are impaired among heavy users of marijuana . . ."

Most people think of marijuana users as dreamers with the attention span of a gnat and no memory worth the name. Wrong. The picture emerging from psychology labs is that there is at most a kernel of truth in this stereotype, while some studies find no evidence of even subtle mental impairment in heavy users. And even those that do are open to a range of interpretations -- not necessarily worrying to marijuana users.

Take the latest findings on which the above claim is based. Harrison Pope and his team at Harvard University compared 65 college students who smoked marijuana daily with a control group of students who smoked it most every other month. After a drug-free day, the subjects completed a range of standard mental tests. Mostly, differences between the two groups were slight. When it came to remembering lists of words, for example, the heavy users recalled about 1 in 10 fewer words than the light users.

But in one test the heavy users underperformed more noticeably. The test involved watching and mimicking the simple rules used by an experimenter to match cards with coloured shapes on them, and then adapting whenever the rule changed. Students who rarely smoked marijuana mistakenly carried on with the old sorting rule on about 5 out of 100 occasions, while heavy users made about 8 mistakes. Pope takes this seriously. "In the real world," he says, "people have to deal all the time with situations in which rules are changing..."

Fine. But over the years, much stronger claims have surfaced: heavy marijuana users do badly at work or school, are more likely to be delinquent and develop psychiatric problems, or have abnormal brain waves. Time and again, however, such studies encounter the same objection: are the problems caused by smoking marijuana, or is it just that people with problems are more likely to end up using marijuana heavily?

In the case of delinquency, schizophrenia and mental illnesses, the balance of the evidence points to the second explanation. Marijuana doesn't cause the problems, although it may make them worse. Some schizophrenics, for example, are drawn to the drug because it eases their sense of alienation. And most researchers now accept that the evidence linking marijuana to abnormal brain waves vanishes when people with psychiatric problems, illnesses or a history of general drug abuse are excluded from studies.

But what about subtler problems like the card sorting deficiencies? After all, it might just be that smart college students tend to smoke lightly while others smoke heavily. In which case the card sorting results may have little to do with marijuana.

Here opinions diverge. Pope believes the deficiency does have something to with marijuana because his team controlled for such obvious things as IQ differences, psychiatric histories and heavy use of other drugs. But others are not convinced. What worries some critics is that in this study, as in others, the women drug users did so much better than the men in most tests.


Deviant Males, John Morgan, Pharmacologist

"I know of no reason why there should be a gender difference in cognitive response to cannabis," says John Morgan, a pharmacologist at the City University of New York Medical School and co-author of a controversial new book advocating decriminalisation, Marijuana Myths Marijuana Facts. Morgan believes the reason the males underperform in such studies is that they are "deviant" in subtle ways that escape the researchers' notice.

And what if the poor test results do turn out to be linked to marijuana? It doesn't automatically follow that heavy marijuana use is causing long-lasting brain damage. One possibility is that, deprived of their favourite drug for a day, heavy users suffer withdrawal symptoms or become so grumpy and distracted that they do badly in tests. Another is that a single drug-free day is not long enough for the effect of their last smoke to have disappeared. The Harvard team's follow-on experiments, in which marijuana users are being tested over a 28-day "dry" period, should provide answers.

Other research suggests that evidence of dramatic mental decline is unlikely to be found, even as a result of long-term heavy use. Over the past 25 years, Jack Fletcher at the University of Texas in Houston and his colleagues have been visiting Costa Rica to test the mental skills of very heavy users. Although some of them have smoked 10 joints a day for more than 30 years, their ability to learn and remember lists of words is only mildly impaired. And even when struggling with more demanding tasks, such as recalling information while pressing a tapper as fast as possible, their scores fall well within the normal range.


Spot the difference: What cannabis does to memory skills

"The effects are subtle and subclinical," says Brian Page, an anthropologist from the University of Miami, who was involved in the study. "Although they could be bad for somebody who's trying to be an arbitrage trader or Wall Street lawyer." And, Page adds: "People who sell bicycles had better not ride while under the influence."

Or at any rate common sense suggests they should not. The verdict from research into the impact of marijuana on road safety skills is less clear. In Britain as many as 1 in 10 motorists involved in serious accidents test positive for cannabis. And figures as high as 37 per cent have emerged from studies in urban areas of the US. However, many of these drivers also test positive for alcohol, and even the cases involving just cannabis cannot be equated with people driving under the influence because the drug lingers so long in the body.

In driving simulators, marijuana does impair visual skills and mental dexterity. But studies of actual driving show that even high doses of marijuana have less impact than alcohol, perhaps because smoking it doesn't usually make people so reckless. In one study, low doses of marijuana made drivers more cautious.

The same broad message is likely to be true for the subtler, longer-lasting effects of marijuana on the brain. Researchers like Pope and Morgan may look at the data very differently, but they agree about one thing: heavy boozing is worse for your neurons than dope.