On test: BMW 335d Coupé

By Kyle Fortune

October 25 2006

• Model driven: BMW 335d Coupé
• Bodystyle: Coupé
• Engine: 3.0 twin-turbo straight-six
• Fuel: diesel
• Transmission: 6-speed automatic
• Date of test: Oct 2006

What is it?
The best model in the expanding 3-Series Coupé range. You can forget the 335i Coupé with its petrol engine, as this 3.0-litre straight-diesel with its twin turbochargers is the model in the range to go for. It’s the same unit that’s impressed us in the X3 and 5-Series and it does more of the same under the bonnet of the Coupé. Don’t think either that it’s just the diesel’s greater economy that’s won us over, even if 37.7mpg on the official combined cycle is very good, but it’s the engine’s incredible performance. With 282bhp and 428lb ft of torque driving through a vastly improved six-speed automatic transmission, the 335d Coupé delivers the sort of performance that makes even BMW’s mighty M6 feel slow off the line.

Where does it fit?
It and its petrol 335i relative currently sit at the top of the BMW 3-Series range. Both engines are available in the saloon and estate 3-Series models, but the two-door coupé is more expensive and more exclusive than its four-door brethren. The 335i petrol will eventually be knocked off the 3-Series top spot by the M3 with its V8 engine, and the cabriolet versions with their folding hardtop roofs will also cost more, but the 335d Coupé will remain the range-topping diesel model. Rivals in this class are few in the coupé sector, the Peugeot V6 HDI 407 Coupé and Mercedes CLK 320 CDI being possible alternatives. But neither can match the 335d Coupé’s performance or poise.

Compare the BMW 335d Coupé, Mercedes CLK 320 CDI and Peugeot 406 HDI

Is it for you?
The BMW 3-Series Coupé takes a huge proportion of the four-seat coupé market. With its wide range of engines and prices the coupé covers a broad spectrum of rivals and customers. Therefore, unlike many competitors it’s not particularly focussed on a certain demographic, BMW 3-Series Coupé buyers ranging right across the age spectrum. Although if you’re female and you buy one you’re bucking the trend, as BMW claims some 82% of 3-Series Coupés are male. Specifically this 335d model is likely to appeal to those buyers wanting the best performance possible, while keeping an eye on fuel consumption.

What does it do well?
Decent consumption is a given, and 37.7mpg on the official combined cycle doesn’t disappoint. It’s made even more remarkable when you consider the performance on offer – 62mph arrives in just 6.1 seconds. But it’s the way the 335d performs that’s so remarkable, the engine’s vast 428lb ft of torque felt from just 1,750rpm. You experience it as a forceful surge that doesn’t seem to let up further up the rev range. Its effect is enhanced by the swift shifting six-speed automatic transmission. It’s been speeded up by around 40 per cent and is so smooth you barely feel it swapping ratios, even when you take control via the steering wheel mounted paddles. Weighty, accurate steering fine body control and excellent handling add up to a hugely capable all-rounder - the rear seats can actually be used by passengers and there’s a useful boot, too.

What doesn’t it do well?
Despite BMW’s constant reminders that the Coupé shares no common sheet metal with its lesser, four-door relatives it still looks very similar. The rear lights are the biggest differentiators visually, but it’s not the head-turner it could have been. That’s particularly true inside, the Coupé sharing its dashboard, instrumentation and trim materials with its saloon alternatives. For a car that’s aimed to appeal to more style conscious buyers it lacks flair inside and doesn’t feel special enough. BMW persists in charging a hefty premium for options, too. Bluetooth preparation costs £535, while BMW charges a fairly scandalous £1,970 for its ‘Professional’ navigation system.

First Drive: BMW 3-Series Coupé

What’s it like to live with?
With its easy performance, excellent handling, fine refinement and decent consumption the 335d Coupé is a very impressive day-to-day proposition. What you lose in emotive high-rev appeal from the 335i petrol engine you more than gain in scarcely believable low rev urgency. Unlike many coupés it’s a genuinely usable proposition, too. The rear seats are suitable for adults at a push, and the boot is huge and can even be increased in usefulness by dropping the rear seat backs. The proliferation of electronic safety and driving aids – which includes DSC+, brake drying, Hill Start Assistant, Soft Stop, Fade Compensation and Brake Pre-tensioning – keep you safe, and are unnoticeable in everyday driving.

Get an insurance quote on a 335d Coupé

How green is it?
37.7mpg on the combined cycle and 200g/km of CO2 emissions are both good enough to keep the environmentalists happy. Well, as happy as today’s car hating environmentalists can be. BMW takes recycling very seriously, so a good proportion of the materials in the Coupé will be from recycled sources, while the majority of the entire car will be recyclable when it eventually buys the farm.

Used 3-Series Coupés from £1,300

Would we buy it?
Certainly. It’s got much of the space and practicality of its saloon relative, lessening the usual coupé compromises. Its six-cylinder diesel engine is also arguably one of the best diesel engines in existence. In the 335i Coupé it offers fantastic performance and refinement with the bonus of decent economy and low emissions. That makes it an able long distance proposition, yet it’s got the ability to thrill when you’re driving for the sake of it. The interior could do with being a bit more interesting, but otherwise the 335d Coupé is a very desirable car indeed.

Saved by the 'bang'...

In case you're wondering why bang is in inverted commas, I meant the Azhan...

I had a DVD marathon today, in the hopes of catching up with new movies I've been missing lately. It started with a Thai movie, Dorm (as in dormitory), about a young boy who was being transferred to a boarding school in the middle of the semester feeling lonely and abandoned. He learns of a story about a closed pool and the child that drowned in it a few years back - I won't go through the whole plot 'coz I don't wanna ruin anything. Besides, I'm not very good at film critics anyway...

More than half-way through You, Me & Dupree, R called to say that he's finished with classes and suggested to buka outside. I was kinda glad that he called, 'coz it gave me a solid excuse for not having to finish watching the whole movie as it was already 6pm and I had to get out of my stinkin' peejays - The worst movie I've seen (not like I've been watching much) this year!

Disappointing.

So, R came along, I was ready, and we turbo-ed up to Fatty Crab, scored a parking space first time around, and was greeted by Aunty Red (hair) who prompted us to a table right at the entrance next to a Malay couple, which was good, 'coz those who know me should already know that I hate doing the meandering-around a crowd of strangers who would size others up as if they have the right to do so. Nevermind the buzzcocks, we decided not to order the crab this time, but make do with the usual spread of chicken wings, garlic prawns and fried rice, and more wings!

Now this is the part where this entry's title come to play...

Since I haven't really introduced R before this, I might as well do before you let your imaginations do the tango!

R: a/s/l - 20's/M/Uranus (SS19, Subang Jaya)

Can say that we're quite close, given the fact that we both studied in the UK, grew up together, and one of the only few relatives on my dad' side, other than his bro and sis, who is around my age. They say, if the same blood runs through your veins, you could even think alike. I say, we're the living proof!

Anyway, the sugar cane juices came, and despite several solid reminders about us fasting, his ignorance was so overwhelming that he slurped 'em clean. But guess what? The Azhan only started when he was already halfway through! Pretending that nothing happened, I proceeded to sip my drink politely (while giving R the "doh!" look) as the other Malays did. What was R's reaction?

He cheekily said with a grin, "Saved by the bang?"

We laughed hysterically.

Typical.

Grin.

8 common dating lines—decoded

By Laura Gilbert

It’s no secret that the language of love isn’t always the most, well, direct. That’s why so many single people spend hours analyzing emails from dates trying to figure out if “I’m busy at work” is a brush-off, or wondering whether that invitation of “I’ll make dinner for you” indicates a desire to share a whole lot more than a favorite garlic chicken recipe. How can you suss out what someone’s really trying to say? To help you out, we got a bevy of dating experts to decode eight common lines so you’ll spend less time scratching your head and more time communicating.

Line: “I’d love to stay out, but I have to get up really early tomorrow.”
What it means: “Sorry, you just aren’t floating my boat.”

Of course, if it’s 2 a.m. or your date follows up with, “But let’s get together soon—maybe this weekend?” the fact that he or she want to end the date is no big deal. But if the night is young or your date mentions an aversion to staying out late in the middle of, say, appetizers, that’s not a good sign. Your date may sense there’s no connection and want to exit sooner rather than later, says Steve Nakamoto, author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Catching A Man. At least look at the upside: This person’s also freeing you from a situation that’s not going anywhere, so just enjoy your dinner, then skedaddle.

Line: “I had such a good time with you.”
What it means: “Wow, you’re actually fun and different from all the other guys/girls!”

This sentence might sound generic, but try saying it out loud: It sounds far more intense than a mere “I had a nice night,” doesn’t it? “This is a way of revealing how you feel without getting too heavy,” says Laurie Puhn, J.D., author of Instant Persuasion: How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life. “The person is letting you know that he or she really might like you, and trying to find out if you possibly feel the same.” So if the interest is mutual, let your date know by responding in kind.

Line: “I’m just not ready for a relationship.”
What it means: “I’m just not in love with you.”

It’s hard when someone you like tells you he or she’s not in a place to seriously date anyone. But it also makes you hope that the problem is timing, not your personalities. If you can just be patient, you think, things could percolate, right? Wrong. “This means ‘I don’t love you, so if that’s what you want, we should break up,’” says Puhn. Don’t be fooled—when this person does meet someone who has that spark, he or she will indeed be ready for a relationship.

Line: “I’d love to meet up, but I’m just really busy with work right now.”
What it means: “I’m trying to think of a really nice way to blow you off.”

Of course, this person could very well have a full schedule that week. But if he or she doesn’t offer any alternative dates to hang out, what you’re really being told is that this person would rather work than hang out with you. (Sorry.) “Your date very well could be busy. The question is whether your date’s focusing on the problem or finding a solution,” says Puhn. “You can always get away long enough for dinner or a drink with someone or say, ‘I’m going to call you in two weeks after this project is done.’ It’s a matter of priorities.” So if your date isn’t trying to pencil you in, it could be time to write that person off.

Line: “So, gotten any funny emails on Match.com lately?”
What it means: “Are you interested in seeing each other exclusively?”

Let’s face it, it’s intimidating to ask: “So are you seeing anyone else?” And with online dating, there’s a sneakier way to put out feelers: By asking a question that reveals whether someone’s been checking his or her Match.com account for new suitors. “In online dating, you can receive flirtatious emails 24/7, so leaving your profile up sends a message that you’re still open to other prospects,” says Nakamoto. So if your date’s asking anything about your online activities, it’s probably a sign he or she might pop the “So... do you want to see each other exclusively?” question soon.

Line: “So, want to meet for coffee?”
What it means: “Want to meet for a coffee and then have dinner if we like each other?”

It’s always smart to schedule a short, easy-to-end date when you’re first meeting a new person. “Committing to a dinner with someone new can seem like too much for a person who doesn’t want to get stuck at a table for hours if things aren’t clicking,” explains Puhn. Still, many online daters will leave the ensuing hours free in case you two hit it off. That doesn’t mean you should head to your rendezvous with overly high expectations and an empty stomach. If you’re hungry, eat already. If you end up wanting to prolong the fun on your date, you can always suggest going for dessert or a drink.

Line: “I’m meeting my friends for a drink—want to come?”
What it means: “I really like you and want to know if you get along with my pals.”

It may sound like a casual invite, but what your date is saying is that he or she is totally comfortable being seen with you as a couple—and is interested in how you’ll relate to his or her closest comrades. “Meeting the friends is an approval thing,” says Nakamoto. “Women want to see how he treats their friends, and men want to know if his friends like the girl.” It may seem intimidating, but it should actually boost your ego: You’ve passed the first tests and are now on your way to becoming a full-time boyfriend or girlfriend—provided the buddies sign off. If you’re feeling just as positive about the relationship, say “Yes,” and charm away.

Line: “Why don’t you come over and I’ll cook for you?”
What it means: “Ready to get physical?”

Cooking for a person is a show of intimacy in a couple of ways. “The person is really inviting you into his or her life,” says Puhn. “Someone’s apartment is their whole world, so they’re obviously very comfortable with you.” Then, of course, there’s the fact that you’ll conveniently be just a few steps from the couch — and the bedroom — later that night. If it’s a first or early date, this might actually be a bit too personal, especially if you’re not sure how you feel about your future together. But if you’re pretty sure you’re ready to explore things further, congratulations, tonight could be the night!

New York City freelance writer Laura Gilbert has written for Health, Stuff, Maxim, The Knot, and other publications.

Article courtesy of Happen magazine, www.happenmag.com.