Working On Love

By Margot Carmichael Lester

"Sure, I’ve heard the modern cliché ‘Don't fish off the company pier,’ but for today's professional who spends so much time at work, who really has time to go to anyone else’s pier?,” asks Stephanie Byrd of Irving, TX.


Exactly. Almost half (42 percent) of today’s workforce is single, according the Bureau of Labor Statistics. And a 2005 Harris Interactive survey found that over one-third (36 percent) of them date people they meet at work. So if you’re back on the dating scene, don’t overlook the possibility that you might find a new special someone on the job.

“There’s no question that the workplace is sometimes the world’s greatest singles bar,” admits John Challenger of global outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas. “There are fewer barriers to getting to know each other because you work together or perhaps even travel together, and you have hours and hours to get to know each other. So in many respects, the workplace is the best place to meet people.”

Love Is In the Air
So how exactly can you connect with someone at work? First, consider some of the more social areas of your work life:

• Attend office happy hours
• Join a company sports team
• Volunteer for inter-departmental projects
• Get involved with company community service programs

And don’t forget the old-fashioned way: Strike up a conversation at the copier or office supply cabinet. That’s how it happened for Charlie Leone, who met his wife at work. “We courted each other while preparing FedEx labels, stuffing press kits and asking each other for useless office supplies.”

Improve Your Chances
Here’s how you can increase your chances of finding love at a water cooler near you:

Take a shot. The old saying “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” is true. If you see someone at a company event or in the break room, initiate contact. “When I started at my current company, I didn't have a lot of friends in my area,” recalls Vicky Charles of Chicago. “A lot of the people at work were young and single, so we started going out for happy hour once a week.” That’s where she met her boyfriend. “Once everyone started hanging out, we kind of migrated towards each other and became close friends.”

Be strategic. In big companies, you may have to work a little harder to meet your match. Dan Coley of Irving, TX, volunteered to be on a project team for two reasons: “First, it was a good career opportunity, but it didn’t hurt that there was a gorgeous, intelligent woman on the team who I was dying to meet,” he says. “Working together for six weeks enabled us to get to know each other easily and our friendship continued after the projects. A few months later, it was love.”

Get connected. Don’t be afraid to leverage your professional network for personal gain by enlisting a colleague as a wing man (or wing woman, as the case may be). “I told my friend in accounting that I was interested in meeting one of her co-workers,” says Tony Latrell of Madison, WI. “She told me where they were having lunch the next day and I ‘just happened to be there.’ That was how I met my girlfriend.”

Be discreet. Whether it’s a bar or a boardroom, you don’t want to come off as a swinging-single cliché. “I knew Tad was interested, but he was very cool about it,” says a marketing manager in New York. “He was all business in the hallways and at meetings, but he’d flirt a little in the parking garage. I liked that because it showed he recognized the line between business and pleasure, and it made me less self-conscious in the workplace.”

Now that you’re all excited about finding love in the cubicle farm, here’s a word of caution: Some companies have policies regarding office romances. Most employee handbooks outline all policies clearly, but if you want to be on the safe side, check with your human resources department. “Employers can’t ban office romances, but they can regulate some behaviors,” Challenger says. “You should know if your employer has a policy, what it says and what the consequences are if you go against it. It’s good to know your company’s stand on employee romances before you dive in,” Challenger says. That’s because once you’re head over heels, who wants to worry about policy manuals? Do the smart thing and do some research upfront.

Carrboro, NC-based Margot Carmichael Lester has written about careers for the Los Angeles Business Journal and Fortune. She’s also the author of The Real Life Guide to Starting Your Career.

Da Joke's On Moi...

"What a load of crap!"

Now there's a line I would like to dedicate to The Malaysian Linguistic Association (MALAS).

With reference to the article entitled the above, I am extremely appalled by the calls to ban the movie, 'The Da Vinci Code' by the association. Obviously, MALAS has nothing better to do.

Their reason for calling the ban is due to the word 'Da', which they thought was a linguistic misusage of the word, 'The'. It is not! Da Vinci is part of the name, Leonardo Da Vinci, therefore there is no such misusage in the movie's title.

One should first explore the reasoning behind the naming of the book/movie etc. before passing judgement such as this, to avoid people like me writing in in (is this a linguistic error too?) the hopes to embarrass people such as MALAS president Ambi Mohan.

For his sake, here's the first paragraph to the text explaining the plot from the book:

"While in Paris on business, Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon receives an urgent late-night phone call: the elderly curator of the Louvre has been murdered inside the museum. Near the body, police have found a baffling cipher. Solving the enigmatic riddle, Langdon is stunned to discover it leads to a trail of clues hidden in the works of Da Vinci…clues visible for all to see…and yet ingeniously disguised by the painter."

Now can you see where the title is coming from?

The article's last paragraph read, "The film's producers could not be reached for comment." Thank god for that otherwise Malaysia will be a laughing stock, again?

Come on la people... Don't be MALAS and find something better to do, or get a real job! Or go after the people who misuse our Malay language eg. Prebiu for Preview instead of Sedutan. Even the word, 'Sedutan' seem to be questionable.

Silly me. I should've known.

Amir Muhammad got what he wanted out of his satirical work of art. Yes, the joke's on me. I rest my case. The question is, who'll be the idiot next week? For I know he's got me now and is hungry for more.

Don't let your inkwell dry Amir Muhammad...

Amir Muhammad writes satire. He’s known for that. He wrote for NST column six years ago before he stopped. He was considered too controversial. In the word of Raman’s Silverfish Lit Mag: “Amir is no dilettante. He doesn't have to constantly talk about doing something because he does it. And I have some idea of how exacting he is.” This is his first stint in NST after his last column years ago. And it’s going to be in the parallel of Stephen Colbert’s The Colbert Report and John Stewart’s Daily Show satire, or maybe in the tone of the harmless comedic Fark.com and The Onion News, where a lot of learned people tend to be gullible. Mail him at kancah2001@yahoo.com - Commentary by fez@daftsavant.

Cheesiest Line from the Cheesiest Movie

If only the women today are as humorously forgiving... :P

Lehua: You're late!

Rick: Late?

Lehua: Don't you remember we have a date?

Rick: What time?

Lehua: 8 o'clock, two years ago!

Rick: And you've been waiting all this while? You must be starving!

Lehua: Not anymore. I already ate my heart out...

Elvis Presley & Linda Wong in Paradise, Hawaiian Style (1966)

Ramble In The Jungle

YABhg Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad’s response to the statement by Ambassador-at-large Tan Sri Fuzi Abdul Razak

1. Tan Sri Fuzi’s rambling explanation about the Bridge over the Tebrau Straits on April 25, 2006, serves only to convince that the Government’s priority and intention is to sell sand to Singapore. If it is not allowed to do so then Malaysia will not get its bridge. The reasoning why the bridge cannot be built comes later and it was not convincing at all.

2. The Tan Sri, as a seasoned diplomat must know that treaties or agreements solemnly entered into by two countries, as are agreements between two parties can only be modified, changed or added to if both sides agree. If there is a dispute regarding the provision or interpretation of the agreement, then there should be arbitration or reference to courts. This is a part of International Law.

3. The provisions of the Wayleave Agreements are precise and clear. There is no specific provision for consulting and obtaining the necessary approval of Singapore for the relocation of the PUB water pipelines.

4. In case the Tan Sri has not read the Wayleave Agreement, I quote below the relevant paragraph; > > “That the Licensee (i.e. Singapore) shall take full responsibility financially or otherwise for any alteration to the pipeline that may become necessary by reason of any alteration or improvements made or to be made on the Johore Causeway and on receiving not less than six months previous notice in writing from the licensors (i.e. Malaysia) shall thereupon carry out the alteration in accordance with such notice and shall have no claim for any compensation.”

5. The provision is specific for the causeway. Singapore can claim it does not apply to pipes laid on land, (although the normal practice is to regard Wayleave Agreements to apply all the way) but it cannot claim that the Agreement does not apply to the Causeway. There can therefore be no reason for not complying with the Wayleave Agreement with regard to the causeway.

6. In fact there had been many alterations to the causeway and pipelines in the past without any objection by Singapore or Malaysia.

7. Because Singapore was unwilling to make a decision on building its side of the bridge to replace its side of the causeway, I informed Singapore that Malaysia intended to build a bridge on its side to land on a part of the causeway also on its side. The Singapore side of the causeway will not be touched. The connection will continue to be between the retained portion of the Johore Causeway and the Singapore half of the causeway.

8. The Singapore PM, Goh Chok Tong in his letter to me clearly stated that “ …… if you wish to proceed immediately to replace just your side of the Causeway with a bridge, I shall accept it, though I think this is not ideal.”

9. There was no condition attached to this acceptance, no mention of sand or airspace.

10. Although the exchange was in the form of letters, it was clear and recorded in writing that I proposed to build a bridge on the Malaysian side and the Singapore PM accepted it. Thus a unilateral decision became bilateral when Singapore acceded and accepted. Any change must similarly be agreed to by both sides.

11. For Singapore to add conditions more than two years later for the supply or 50 million cubic meters of sand for 20 years and to allow the Singapore Air Force to fly in Malaysian Air Space would constitute unilateral change. Malaysia can reject the new condition and insist on Singapore honouring the agreement between the two Prime Ministers.

12. It is the Malaysian Government, which tacitly agreed to the Singapore unilateral condition when it decided that it would not build the bridge because it is not in a position to supply sand or open its airspace because of opposition by Malaysians.

13. The proper thing to do if the Government wants to build the bridge would be to seek arbitration or refer to a court if Malaysia is uncertain as to the right of Singapore to impose new conditions unilaterally. Actually there is no need to doubt Malaysian rights in its own territorial waters. But the Government of Malaysia did not do its best to reject the condition. It gave in supposedly because the Malaysian legal authorities believe Singapore is in the right. It would be interesting to read the grounds for the A.G. to conclude that Singapore has what amounts to extra territorial rights and Malaysia has no sovereign right within its own territorial waters.

14. Talks about the possibility of Singapore refusing to allow the bridge to connect with the Singapore half of the causeway is sheer nonsense. The Malaysian bridge will land on the Malaysian portion of the causeway. The only way Singapore can prevent traffic from the bridge from passing through from the Malaysian portion of the Causeway into the Singapore half is to put a barrier across the causeway border. This would certainly constitute an unfriendly act. It would be Singapore cutting its nose to spite its face. The damage to Singapore businesses would be at least as bad as that which Malaysia may suffer. But in reality Singapore needs Malaysia more than Malaysian needs Singapore. We have our ports and airports to replace Singapore ports, airports and other services.

15. All in all it is clear that the Malaysian Government is more interested in selling sand to Singapore than to build the bridge. This keenness to sell sand is strange for Malaysia does not need the proceeds from sale of sand. Despite my alleged profligate ways when I was PM Malaysia is not so bankrupt that it has to depend on selling sand.

16. That any Malaysian leader should not shudder in horror at the idea of scraping ONE BILLION SQ. METERS from Malaysian sea-beds continuously over a period of 20 years, thereby destroying all the fish breeding grounds of Malaysian seas, depriving Malaysian fishermen of their livelihood, destroying Malaysia’s marine ecology defies the imagination. That there should be any Malaysian leader willing to entertain this idea, to destroy Malaysian seas to satisfy Singapore speaks badly of his love for his country.

Dr Mahathir bin Mohamad

Linguists call for 'Da Vinci Code' ban - page 14 NST, Thursday, May 4, 2006

By Amir Muhammad

The Malaysian Linguistic Association (Malas) has echoed calls by other parties to ban the controversial movie The Da Vinci Code.

The film is an adaptation of a best-selling novel that deals with some aspects of the Christian faith. But the objection by Malas has nothing to do with theology because "we don't even know who Theo is", says its president Ambi Mohan.

The association's chief objection is, instead, linguistic.

"For too long we have sat by and allowed language to be polluted but we have decided that enough's enough. The Da Vinci Code should be banned because we don't want to encourage youngsters to use 'da' as a lazy shorthand for 'the'.

"We see this in rap lyrics," he claims.

"All this talk about 'hanging out with da hoes'. You should be hanging out with THE hoes. This sort of begs the question of why someone would want to 'hang out' with gardening implements to begin with, but i am not here to question lifestyle choices, merely spelling, grammar and semantics."

He said the association might reconsider its protests if the filmmakers changed its name to The The Vinci Code.

"But even this is problematic because having two 'thes' in a row look ugly. So the film should be called The Vinci Code."

The film's producers could not be reached for comment.

"What a load of crap!"

Now there's a line I would like to dedicate to The Malaysian Linguistic Association (MALAS).

With reference to the article entitled the above, I am extremely appalled by the calls to ban the movie, 'The Da Vinci Code' by the association. Obviously, MALAS has nothing better to do.

Their reason for calling the ban is due to the word 'Da', which they thought was a linguistic misusage of the word, 'The'. It is not! Da Vinci is part of the name, Leonardo Da Vinci, therefore there is no such misusage in the movie's title.

One should first explore the reasoning behind the naming of the book/movie etc. before passing judgement such as this, to avoid people like me writing in in (is this a linguistic error too?) the hopes to embarrass people such as MALAS president Ambi Mohan.

For his sake, here's the first paragraph to the text explaining the plot from the book:

"While in Paris on business, Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon receives an urgent late-night phone call: the elderly curator of the Louvre has been murdered inside the museum. Near the body, police have found a baffling cipher. Solving the enigmatic riddle, Langdon is stunned to discover it leads to a trail of clues hidden in the works of Da Vinci…clues visible for all to see…and yet ingeniously disguised by the painter."

Now can you see where the title is coming from?

The article's last paragraph read, "The film's producers could not be reached for comment." Thank god for that otherwise Malaysia will be a laughing stock, again?

Come on la people... Don't be MALAS and find something better to do, or get a real job! Or go after the people who misuse our Malay language eg. Prebiu for Preview instead of Sedutan. Even the word, 'Sedutan' seem to be questionable.

Seven Signs It's Time to Toss Your Résumé

By Kate Lorenz, CareerBuilder Editor

They've reviewed millions of résumés and seen it all. From the candidate whose stated objective was to "seek a high-paying, relaxing job" to the software developer who included a photo of himself bare-chested, cavorting in the surf.

Corporate recruiters say you'd be surprised at how many candidates leave out important facts, such as the names and locations of companies where they've worked, or include too much information, like the candidate who asterisked her dates of employment with the caveat: "Please do not misconstrue the fact that I have had 12 jobs in six years as job-hopping...I have never quit a job!"

Is your résumé working for you or against you? Here are seven signs it may be time to tweak (or toss) your résumé:

1. No Career Summary/Introductory Statement
Most hiring companies don't have time to match unspecified résumés to open positions, so lead off with a career summary or introductory statement that makes it clear what type of position you are seeking and why you are qualified for the job.

2. Lack of Keywords and Phrases
To pass through a company's applicant tracking software, your résumé must contain the keywords and phrases it is screening for. These words are not the verbs stressed in paper résumés, but nouns such as job titles and technical skills.

To find out what keywords you should be using, read the job posting or obtain the actual job description. You also may want to check out the book 2,500 Keywords to Get You Hired by Jay Block and Michael Betrus, which lists critical keywords for each career and shows examples of how to use them in your résumé.

3. No Evidence of Your Experience
Your résumé should not merely list the jobs you've held; it should provide specific examples of how you achieved success. Résumé-writing professionals recommend using the PARS formula: Describe a Problem, the Action you took, the Results you achieved and Skills you applied.

4. Use of Personal Pronouns and Articles
With just two pages to sell yourself, make each word count. Write in a telegraphic style, eliminating all personal pronouns and articles like "the," "a" and "an." Removing the "I," "me" and "my" from your résumé not only frees up space, but creates a subliminal perception of objectivity.

5. Irrelevant Information
Irrelevant information keeps the reader from seeing your selling points. Weigh each portion of your experience from the hiring company's perspective to decide what to include and what to emphasize. If you're applying for an engineering position, for example, don't devote a whole paragraph to your job as a camp counselor unless the position has elements that are transferable to the engineering job. And never include information about your marital status, personal situation, hobbies or interests unless they are relevant to the job for which you're applying.

6. Poor Formatting
Unless you have no work experience or have held a number of different jobs in a short amount of time, a chronological résumé is the most effective. That means using the following order:

Header (your name, address, e-mail address and phone number)

Career summary, profiling the scope of your experience and skills

Reverse chronological employment history emphasizing achievements

Education

Since poor alignment, spacing and use of bolding and caps make a résumé hard to read, you may want to use a résumé template.

7. Typos and Misspelled Words
From the would-be administrative assistant who claimed to be a "rabid typist" to the executive who boasted that he was "instrumental in ruining the entire operation," misspellings communicate that you have poor writing skills or a lackadaisical attitude. Proofread your résumé carefully and have several friends and family members read it as well.

Last, remember that the purpose of your résumé is to communicate your experiences and accomplishments as they relate to an open position and to obtain a job interview. Because each situation is different, you should tailor your résumé to each opportunity.

Kate Lorenz is the article and advice editor for CareerBuilder.com. She researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues. Other writers contributed to this article.

Cute ways to get close

By Maggie Kim

It’s the end of your first date and suddenly, your date’s personal space seems like a no-fly zone. Breaking the physical barrier for the first time can seem daunting, but here are some real people’s creative maneuvers to get touchy-feely—without seeming creepy.


1. Do a practice touch.
Going for a hand-hold or kiss after not having touched a person at all can be anxiety-provoking for both of you. But casually touching the person mid-conversation gets you both used to being close, which makes things easier later. “I’ll often touch people to emphasize a point, show empathy or even to highlight humor, like an affectionate light slap on the arm,” explains John Emch from Seattle, WA. A similar strategy is to make a relatively big move—but then back off. Peter B. from New York, NY, does this by putting his arm around a date and then removing it. “I’ll just throw my arms around a girl’s shoulder like I would a friend’s at the start of a date,” he says. “It lightens the vibe up immediately because it’s just me being friendly.” It also sends the message early on that he’s interested, which lets his date give her own cues freely and without fear of rejection.

2. Rely on chivalry.
Small, gentlemanly gestures are an unthreatening way to make contact. “I hold my hand out to help a date out of a taxi,” says Jeremy Kagan from New York, NY. “It's polite, and it allows my date to be the one to actually reach out.” Put your hand on your date’s lower back as you go through a door, or help your honey out of a car—or into a coat. “My ex-boyfriend used to help me with my coat, then lift my hair out from under the coat for me,” says Ann Lee from Philadelphia, PA. “It was thoughtful and also sensual to have his hands brush against my neck and stroke my hair.” And ladies, there’s no need to wait for the guy to make a move. “If I’m walking with my date, I reach for his arm so we wind up linking arms,” says Megan of Morristown, NJ.

3. Lean in.
When you’re sitting very close together, the space you must cross to touch one another becomes much smaller—and less terrifying. “I took my now-girlfriend to a concert in the park,” says Bryan Dunn from Austin, TX. “It was really crowded, so we had to stand close together... and that kind of closeness often leads to kissing.” You can get the same effect by sitting right next to each other at a tiny café table, too. Even if you’re not in a crowd or sitting right next to each other, try lowering your voice gradually over the course of the date—you’ll find yourselves leaning closer just to talk, with your faces getting nearer to each other than they would be otherwise.

4. Cook something up.
During at-home dates, teaming up in the kitchen lends itself to getting cozy. “As a chef, I know for a fact that asking your date to help in the kitchen is a good way to initiate touching,” says Matthew K. from Portland, ME. “You make contact when your bodies pass by each other in the close quarters or when you show your date how to chop properly.”

5. Sniff it out.
An innocent excuse to zoom in on a person’s touch zone sends the message that you’re interested in more, and you don’t have to be brazen to pull it off. “I was at a bar with a guy who seemed too shy to make a move, so I sniffed the air near him and said, ‘Wow, what’s that smell?’” says Stasia King from Los Angeles, CA. “I sniffed all around and then zeroed in on his neck area and exclaimed, ‘Oh, it’s you!’ Then I leaned in for a long, slow, circular inhale just under the earlobe. He got the picture after that.”

6. Pick a hands-on date activity.
For an easy intro, choose an activity that requires closeness anyway. “I take my dates salsa dancing,” says Johnny F. from Houston, TX. “You have no choice but to touch each other and move together in a pretty sexy way. Even if you’re not good dancers, you can laugh about how you’re missing the steps.” If dancing isn’t your style, try something else physically active (like rock climbing) that requires participants to make contact.

7. Be direct.
What keeps many people from breaking the touch barrier is not knowing whether their dates are interested. Being brave enough to ask makes it obvious that you are looking for contact, and you two will know what to do next. “I’ve really been straightforward,” says Leonard R. from Los Angeles, CA. “I just say, ‘Can I kiss you?’ It’s worked out pretty well!” Tina H. from Miami, FL, puts a fun twist on it. “I’ve said to guys, ‘You want to kiss me, don’t cha?’ They love it because it takes the pressure off them but it’s still light and fun.”

Maggie Kim is a freelance writer and singer-songwriter in New York City. Find her at www.maggiekim.com.