Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Working On Love

By Margot Carmichael Lester

"Sure, I’ve heard the modern cliché ‘Don't fish off the company pier,’ but for today's professional who spends so much time at work, who really has time to go to anyone else’s pier?,” asks Stephanie Byrd of Irving, TX.


Exactly. Almost half (42 percent) of today’s workforce is single, according the Bureau of Labor Statistics. And a 2005 Harris Interactive survey found that over one-third (36 percent) of them date people they meet at work. So if you’re back on the dating scene, don’t overlook the possibility that you might find a new special someone on the job.

“There’s no question that the workplace is sometimes the world’s greatest singles bar,” admits John Challenger of global outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas. “There are fewer barriers to getting to know each other because you work together or perhaps even travel together, and you have hours and hours to get to know each other. So in many respects, the workplace is the best place to meet people.”

Love Is In the Air
So how exactly can you connect with someone at work? First, consider some of the more social areas of your work life:
  • Attend office happy hours
  • Join a company sports team
  • Volunteer for inter-departmental projects
  • Get involved with company community service programs

And don’t forget the old-fashioned way: Strike up a conversation at the copier or office supply cabinet. That’s how it happened for Charlie Leone, who met his wife at work. “We courted each other while preparing FedEx labels, stuffing press kits and asking each other for useless office supplies.”

Improve Your Chances
Here’s how you can increase your chances of finding love at a water cooler near you:

Take a shot. The old saying “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” is true. If you see someone at a company event or in the break room, initiate contact. “When I started at my current company, I didn't have a lot of friends in my area,” recalls Vicky Charles of Chicago. “A lot of the people at work were young and single, so we started going out for happy hour once a week.” That’s where she met her boyfriend. “Once everyone started hanging out, we kind of migrated towards each other and became close friends.”

Be strategic. In big companies, you may have to work a little harder to meet your match. Dan Coley of Irving, TX, volunteered to be on a project team for two reasons: “First, it was a good career opportunity, but it didn’t hurt that there was a gorgeous, intelligent woman on the team who I was dying to meet,” he says. “Working together for six weeks enabled us to get to know each other easily and our friendship continued after the projects. A few months later, it was love.”

Get connected. Don’t be afraid to leverage your professional network for personal gain by enlisting a colleague as a wing man (or wing woman, as the case may be). “I told my friend in accounting that I was interested in meeting one of her co-workers,” says Tony Latrell of Madison, WI. “She told me where they were having lunch the next day and I ‘just happened to be there.’ That was how I met my girlfriend.”

Be discreet. Whether it’s a bar or a boardroom, you don’t want to come off as a swinging-single cliché. “I knew Tad was interested, but he was very cool about it,” says a marketing manager in New York. “He was all business in the hallways and at meetings, but he’d flirt a little in the parking garage. I liked that because it showed he recognized the line between business and pleasure, and it made me less self-conscious in the workplace.”

Now that you’re all excited about finding love in the cubicle farm, here’s a word of caution: Some companies have policies regarding office romances. Most employee handbooks outline all policies clearly, but if you want to be on the safe side, check with your human resources department. “Employers can’t ban office romances, but they can regulate some behaviors,” Challenger says. “You should know if your employer has a policy, what it says and what the consequences are if you go against it. It’s good to know your company’s stand on employee romances before you dive in,” Challenger says. That’s because once you’re head over heels, who wants to worry about policy manuals? Do the smart thing and do some research upfront.

Carrboro, NC-based Margot Carmichael Lester has written about careers for the Los Angeles Business Journal and Fortune. She’s also the author of The Real Life Guide to Starting Your Career.

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